


Time After Time

by chaosgroupie



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Supernatural, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Happily Ever After, only a little supernatural, starts sad but gets better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:27:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27330448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaosgroupie/pseuds/chaosgroupie
Summary: Being best friends with one of the world's most famous assassins has its advantages, namely access to some of the most gorgeous men in New York City. But Isabella only has eyes for one of them, Bucky Barnes. A chance encounter at the coffee shop, a stupid turn of phrase, and she's in for a wild ride.(Sorry, I know it's not much of a summary, but I don't want to give away the plot)--------------------FYI for the Supernatural readers -- If you're clicking on this for Supernatural, you will be disappointed. It's a Marvel story with a tiny portion that brings it in. Less than 5%. I'm only tagging it because it plays into the plot.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 48





	1. Heat of the Moment

Day One

_ 'Cause it's the heat of the moment _ __  
_ Heat of the moment, the heat of the moment _ _  
_ __ Shone in your eyes

As my alarm went off, I pulled the pillow over my head, trying to drown out the sound of Asia singing. It was Saturday, a day I should be allowed to sleep in, rest, relax, veg out… but no, I had to go to the tower and hang out with the team. I loved them to death, but when I made the promise to come over two weeks ago, I didn’t know I would have to stay much later at work than I normally did the night prior. But, if I didn’t show up when I promised, Natasha would haul herself down to my apartment and drag me there by the ear. That was all part of having her as a best friend, not to mention the fact that she was a very successful ex-assassin who never took no for an answer, but it drove me nuts sometimes.

The song continued to play and I sat up in bed, rubbing my eyes, wishing the day was already over so I could go back to sleep. One of my favorite things to do was to hang out with everyone, but I was just so damned tired. The thought of trying to be jovial for the next several hours made me groan. Still, I climbed out of bed and shut off the music, needing peace and quiet. My head throbbed from exhaustion, every noise and bit of light just making the ache worse. Trying to ignore it, I went into the bathroom and started getting ready - cleaned my teeth, brushed my hair and put it up into a bun, then slapped on a little bit of sparkly lip gloss in an attempt to feel more human.

Back in my bedroom, I put on a pair of leggings and a baggy sweater that hung off one shoulder. Cranky with a massive headache, all I wanted was to be comfortable. Before leaving, I took one last look at my small apartment, staring longingly at the bed. God, all I wanted was to curl up under my fuzzy blankets and pass out again, but Natasha would be disappointed, and I hated disappointing her. She never got angry, just melancholy, and seeing her despondent hurt more than having her mad at me. That’s why whenever I promised her something, I did my best to follow through. She had enough shit in her life, I refused to add to it.

My first stop was the café next to my apartment building. There was no way in hell I was going to be able to deal with everyone without caffeine. It would wake me up and hopefully help with the throbbing ache behind my eyes. Pushing open the door, I got in line and waited while the people in front of me ordered. When it was finally my turn, I stepped up to the counter where I noticed the new cashier. A short man with fluffy blonde hair, whose name tag read ‘Gabe,’ gave me a cocky grin. His voice came out super chipper and grating as he spoke. “Good morning! Welcome to the Roadhouse. What can I do you for?”

“Coffee,” I muttered, already missing the young girl who normally worked weekend mornings. She understood that I was not a morning person, plus she already knew my order so I didn’t even have to pretend to be social.

“You sure there’s nothing else?” His eyes twinkled mischievously as he leaned forward, whispering conspiratorially, “Really? There’s nothing else you desire?”

“Can you make the day start over again?” My voice came out sarcastic and mean, my patience wearing thin. “No. You can’t. Just coffee.”

“Coming right up.” The twinkle never left his eyes, even as he went over to the machine and poured me a cup of coffee into a paper cup, then looked at me before adding two sugars and stirring the mixture. Walking back over, Gabe handed me the drink. “Here you go.”

Glancing down at the cup, I stared at it for a moment before my eyes drifted back up toward his face. “How did you know how many sugars I take?”

“It’s not that difficult, dear heart.” His cocky grin turned soft for a moment. “You should get going. Wouldn’t want to be late meeting up with your friends.”

I left the café, shaking my head in an attempt to clear it of the weird encounter. Every morning I went in and got the same drink, black coffee with two sugars. Of course, I usually put the sugars in myself, but maybe he had just seen me do it. Even though I’d never seen him in there before, it didn’t mean he hadn’t been there.

By the time I went into the donut shop, I’d put the strange encounter out of my mind. I ordered three dozen assorted donuts, then headed to the tower. Early on I'd learned that if I didn’t come with sugar the boys got all pouty and whiny. The last thing I wanted to deal with was a bunch of grown men acting like teenagers. Bringing them sugar-filled treats would make them happy, in turn, making me happy.

Entering Stark tower, I waved at the guard, then used my keycard to gain access to the private elevator I took up to the fifty-third floor. The tower was just one of two places that they lived, the other being the compound located several miles outside the city on over one hundred acres of land. Most of the time they were out at the compound, but because of meetings with SHIELD they’d been at the tower for over a month and would continue being there for at least another week or two.

Having my best friend this close was pretty awesome. On the weekends they were at the compound, she would send Happy to pick me up and take me out there, so it wasn’t like I didn’t get to see her every week unless they were out of town on a mission. However, it made me happier to sleep in my own bed instead of the spare apartment at the compound. The bed there was comfortable, but I was used to sleeping with the sound of the city in the background. Out on their enormous property, even though it was next to the ocean, it was simply too quiet. The sound of traffic and sirens had become white noise to me, effectively lulling me to sleep.

As the elevator door opened, I yawned and stepped out into the large room. It was a beautiful place. Tony used to have his office on this floor, but after the Battle of New York, he’d turned it into a sanctuary for the Avengers. This floor had a well-stocked bar, several large couches, and a kitchen off to the side. There were a couple of other rooms - game room, theater, small office for Pepper, and a meditation area - but we spent most of our time on the couches, just hanging out and drinking. The apartments for everyone were on the three floors below, including the couple Tony had put in for visitors. 

Walking deeper into the room, I saw Steve and Sam laughing at something as I moved toward the kitchen. I didn’t see Bucky, but I knew he was around somewhere. The two of them were sweaty and wearing workout clothes, so I assumed they had just got back from the gym, which definitely meant that Bucky was nearby. They always worked out together.

Nearing the kitchen, I felt a presence behind me, Bucky’s bare arms appearing on either side of me as his hard chest pressed into my back, hands grabbing for the donuts. I looked over my shoulder and raised an eyebrow. “You’re sweaty,” I stated.

“What??” Bucky stepped back as I turned around and noticed he was shirtless. Thankfully, he didn’t notice the fact that my gaze dropped to his muscular torso because he looked down at himself at the same time, holding his arms up in the air. “Damn, I am sweaty.” He started moving closer, a grin on his face. “Come on, Bella, all I want is a hug.”

As he opened his arms, I glared at him, but he didn’t stop until he was right in front of me with his lower lip protruding in a comical pout, his arms still held out as he waited. Sighing, I set the bag with the donuts down on the floor, then holding my coffee cup to the side I gave him a small hug before quickly backing away. Truthfully, I didn’t mind the fact that he was sweaty because I liked him. If I was being completely honest with myself, I’d liked him from practically the first day I met him. Pretty sure that anyone who looked into his baby blue eyes would feel the same, especially if they were on the receiving end of a genuine smile from him.

When his mouth curved into a happy grin, my heart fluttered and I bent to pick up the donuts. “Go take a shower, Bucky. These will keep till you’re clean.”

“What about us?” Sam asked plaintively.

Looking over at him, my lips pursed as my eyebrows raised up. “No donuts until you boys aren’t stinky anymore.”

Sidling up beside me, Sam leaned against my arm briefly. “Come on, Iz. Just a little bite.”

An arm went around my shoulders and I turned my head toward Steve, groaning. He grinned and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I know, kid, we’re gross. Don’t worry, I’ll take these lunkheads and get them cleaned up. Hide me a cruller.”

“Sure thing, Cap,” I replied with a yawn, stepping out from underneath his arm. “Won’t let anyone take your cruller.” Under my breath, I added, “Not that anyone likes those anyway.” When he looked at me in faux shock, my face heated up as the boys laughed. “Fuck. Forgot about your super hearing.”

“Iz, you didn’t say it that softly," Sam laughed, “not if I heard you.”

“Just… go take a shower, guys. There are plenty of donuts.”

As they left and headed toward the elevator, I went into the kitchen and put the bag onto the counter with my coffee, taking the boxes out so everyone could get to them easier. Then I carried my coffee over to the couch and sat down, closing my eyes against the glare of the sun as I sipped the rapidly cooling drink. Placing the drink on a side table, I leaned against the back of the couch with an arm over my eyes and sighed.

Several minutes passed and I heard footsteps coming toward where I sat, but I didn’t bother moving my arm. From the heavy tread, I knew it was the guys. Steve and Bucky were graceful and light on their feet - the serum made them that way - but they’d learned to move more normally while at home, especially when I was around. After I’d nearly had a panic attack once when Steve accidentally snuck up on me, they’d made a conscious effort to make as much noise as possible without just stomping everywhere.

I felt a body plop down to the left of me on the couch, and I moved my arm slightly, seeing Bucky sitting there, his short hair glistening with water. He grinned, then frowned when I didn’t return his smile. “What’s wrong?”

“I have a headache.” My arm covered my eyes again and I sighed. “I was at the bookstore last night until one doing inventory. I’m just fucking exhausted.”

There was the sound of Bucky moving around on the cushions, then his flesh hand laid on my thigh. “C’mere, Bella.” Moving my arm again, I looked over at him and saw him sitting on the chaise part of the couch, left leg stretched out in front of him, right foot planted on the floor. His legs were spread wider than normal, and he patted the space between them. “C’mere.”

“Why?” I tried to keep the incredulity out of my voice, but it was hard. No matter how much of a crush I had on him, we weren’t that close. Yes, we were friends, but it’s not like we cuddled. Shit, I didn’t cuddle with any of them, not even Natasha.

“Just get your ass over here.” When I didn’t move, he said sternly, “Come here, Bella. I’m gonna help with your headache.”

Another body plopped down on the couch and Steve added, “You should take him up on it. He doesn’t make this offer to just anyone.”

Sighing, I stood and moved closer to him, sitting down between his legs with my back to him, making sure to keep a respectful distance. When his hands touched my shoulders, I stiffened. He groaned, “Calm down, doll. You’re tenser than my father was when my sister went on her first date.” When I didn’t, he leaned forward and whispered in my ear, “Trust me, doll. I’m just gonna give you the best back massage you’ve ever had. It will help the headache, I promise.”

Relaxing into his ministrations, I groaned lightly as he worked his fingers into my tight muscles. I heard the others join and start talking about the plans for the day, but I couldn’t concentrate on what they were saying, all of my thoughts were focused solely on Bucky’s hands on me. My body couldn’t decide if it was turned on from his attention, or if it wanted to pass out. To be honest, it was somewhere in between. The little moans that came out of my mouth were embarrassing, but no one seemed to be paying attention, so I didn’t bother to hide them.

Bucky stopped working at the knots and ran his hands down my arms, his mouth by my ear again. “I think Nat and Wanda are ready for girls' day.”

Letting myself lean back against him, I imagined for a moment that we were more than friends. Then I sighed and sat up straight again. Glancing back, I gave him a soft smile. “Thanks, Bucky. I feel a lot better.”

“All in a day's work, doll.” He smirked, then added seriously, “When you get back if your head still hurts let me know. I’ve got a couple of other tricks that used to work on my mom when she got her migraines.”

“Thanks.”

\----------

A short time later, Natasha, Wanda, and I sat in three pedicure chairs, our feet soaking in warm water. We weren’t even bothering to get our hands done, the three of us worked with our hands too much to make nail polish last. Besides, this wasn’t really about the beautification process, but about hanging out with my friends.

“So, Izzy, when are you going to tell Bucky how you feel?” Wanda kept her face stoic, not reacting to the shocked expression on mine.

“Wha…” I choked on the question. Clearing my throat, I tried again. “What are you talking about?”

Giving me her best ‘don’t fuck with me’ expression, Natasha crossed her arms over her chest and glared lightly. “You know exactly what she’s talking about, Isabella.” Fuck, whenever she used my full name I knew she was getting irritated. But her next words were softer, as was the look in her eyes. “You should tell him that you like him, hon. Life’s too short not to be honest with yourself.”

Closing my eyes, I leaned back in the chair and tried to ignore the two women sitting on either side of me. When they kept silent and didn’t say anything, I let out a heavy sigh. “It doesn’t matter, it’s not like he likes me back. What’s my telling him gonna do, other than embarrass me and make it difficult to spend time around him?"

A hand landed on my arm and my eyes opened to see Wanda with a serious look on her face. “You should tell him. Nat’s right. Life’s too short to keep your emotions hidden away, and besides, I’m pretty sure you won’t strike out if you tell him.”

“Are you saying…”

“No,” she quickly interjected. “I’m not saying that I know if he likes you or not. Bucky doesn’t tell us those kinds of things. He may have told Steve…”

Natasha interrupted, “If he’s told Steve, I don’t know about it.” The two of them had been dating for a few years and Steve told her everything. Well, mostly everything.

“As I was saying,” Wanda chuckled, “he may have told Steve or Sam, but he hasn’t told us. All I can do is go off of what I see when he’s around you. He smiles and laughs more when you’re there, and he’s way more affectionate with you than with the rest of us.”

“Okay, now I know you’re seeing things.” The nail technician took my feet out of the water and I groaned softly as she massaged the lotion into my legs. “He treats me exactly the same as he treats the rest of you.”

“Hon, he hasn’t ever given me or Wanda a massage like that.”

“I had a headache,” I protested.

Closing her eyes for a second, Natasha huffed in exasperation. “I’ve had headaches before. Do you know what he suggested? That I go to the doc and get pain pills. When he’s feeling extra cheeky, he reminds me that sex can help with headaches, so I should ask Steve for help.”

“Same,” Wanda added. Laughing lightly, she added, “Except he tells me to go to Vis.”

“I don’t see it.”

“That’s because you’ve been hiding your feelings for so long you wouldn’t realize he liked you even if he told you.” I could hear the humor in Natasha’s voice, even though her face was serious. “What would it take for you to tell him? Do I need to dare you or something?”

“Fuck, Nat, I’m thirty-two, not a child.”

“Then act like an adult and tell him.” This time, irritation was plain in both her tone and the narrowness of her eyes. Sighing, she leaned back in the chair and rubbed the bridge of her nose between her fingers. “I just want you to be happy, and Bucky is a sweetheart.”

“I know, Nat.” Closing my eyes as the woman continued to massage my feet, I promised, “I’ll think about. Just… don’t push me into it. If you do, I’ll definitely never tell him.”

“Alright, we can do that.”

\----------

A couple of hours later, I was laying on a blanket in Central Park, eyes closed, listening to everyone talking. My headache had come back worse than before, but I didn’t want to bother Bucky. No, that’s not true. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to bother him, it’s that I was trying to avoid telling him about my crush because I was almost one hundred percent positive that he didn’t feel the same. He wasn’t shy about telling people what he felt, so I know if he liked me he would tell me. At least, I thought he would.

Someone sat down next to me and I cracked open my eyes to see Bucky looking down at me, a concerned look on his face. “Headache back?”

“That obvious?” I muttered.

“I don’t think anyone else has noticed.” He glanced around, then gave me a soft smile. “My mother had migraines, I recognize the symptoms.” Scooting his body above my head, he crossed his legs and lifted me up, moving my body so my head rested on his folded calves. Placing his hands on my head so he cupped it, his fingers started massaging my scalp, his thumbs rubbing near my temples. “Just relax, doll. This should help.”

After several minutes, I opened my eyes and looked up at him. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

“What do you mean?” His hands moved from my head to my neck and he started rubbing the muscles there.

Reaching up, I grabbed his hands, stopping their movement. “Bucky, you’re always nice to me, but you’re being extra…” Fuck, I didn’t know how to explain it to him. It was probably more the conversation with Natasha and Wanda that made me feel weird, rather than the way he was treating me. In the end, I just avoided pushing the subject. “Nevermind, it’s not important.”

He leaned down over me, face inches from mine. “Bella,” he muttered, his deep voice husky. “I…”

“We’ve decided to watch the new Star Trek tonight,” Steve stated, close enough to us that Bucky startled and sat up, glaring at his friend. “Hey, don’t give me that look, Buck, I didn’t choose the movie.”

Sighing, he rubbed his eyes, then glanced down at me. “It’s not that, I just…” Looking back up at Steve, he acquiesced, “Star Trek sounds good. I’ve been wanting to see it for a while anyway.”

Pushing myself off his lap, I sat up, my eyes widening in surprise when I realized my headache was practically gone. “Star Trek is fine with me.” Steve looked between us, then nodded and went back over to the others. I turned to him and gave him a grateful smile. “Thanks, Bucky, my head feels a lot better.”

He frowned, then shook his head and forced a smile on his face. “I’m glad.” Taking my hand in his, he added, “If you ever have another one, just let me know. Seriously, if it helps, I’m happy to be of service.”

“Bucky…” I muttered.

“Hey you crazy kids, it’s time to go.” Sam plopped down on the grass next to us, his white teeth on display with his over the top smile. His eyebrows waggled up and down. “Unless you two want to be left… alone.”

My face flushed, but before I could come up with a retort, Bucky shoved his shoulder. “Shut it, Sam.” Standing, he held out his hand to me. “Come on, Bella. Let’s leave this chucklehead here.”

\----------

Dinner was normal, everyone having fun, eating pizza from our favorite place down the street. Each person had their own, liking different things. Except me. I could only eat two slices before getting full, so I felt it was a waste to get me my own. Usually, I would eat a piece from Bucky’s and one from Natasha’s. She got veggie, with extra mushrooms. He always got sausage and onions, which worked pretty well together. The others had some weird things they like. For example, Sam got anchovies and olives, two things I didn’t like. No one else liked anchovies either, so he got an entire pizza to himself and no one ate his leftovers.

Of course, during the first part of the movie my headache came back. It wasn’t as bad as at the park, but it was still there. Bucky noticed right away, leaving to get me a blanket. When he came back, he pulled me against his body and laid it over me, one hand rubbing my shoulder rhythmically. After a minute, he mumbled in my ear, “I can rub your back again if that would help.”

I just shook my head and snuggled closer, the warmth of his body soothing me. Honestly, I didn’t think another massage would help. The pain had migrated from the muscles of my neck, back, and head, to behind my eyes. All I wanted to do was shut them and go home so I could curl up in my bed and sleep. Maybe if the day was over and it was tomorrow, I would feel better. But because I knew that going home wouldn’t go over well, I just shut my eyes against my flashing lights of the movie and sighed, enjoying the feeling of Bucky’s arm wrapped around me. 

All I heard was silence when I came back to consciousness, Bucky lifting my body off the couch. The television was off, the lights dimmed, everyone else already gone. Closing my eyes again, I relaxed in his arms. Out of everyone on the team, I felt both the most and the least comfortable with Bucky. He never treated me like anything less than a really good friend, nor anything more, at least not until today. Which confused me to no end. Maybe it was just what Natasha said getting to me, but he’d seemed extra touchy with me today, almost as if he actually did like me.

A door opened and then I was carefully set on a bed, the cover pulled over me. He pressed a soft kiss to my forehead, tucked a lock of hair behind my ear, whispering, “Goodnight, sweetheart.”

As he started walking out of the room, curiosity won out and I opened my eyes. “Bucky?”

He stopped at the door and turned back. “Sorry, I thought you were asleep.”

“You called me sweetheart,” I murmured, my voice husky with sleep.

“I…” Groaning, he swiped a hand over his face. “We’ll talk about it in the morning.” Then he left the room and shut the door, leaving me to wonder what the hell happened.


	2. Vivid Dreams

Day Two 

_'Cause it's the heat of the moment_   
_Heat of the moment, the heat of the moment_ _  
_ Shone in your eyes

Groaning, I rolled over in bed, laying an arm over my eyes. Asia was especially grating this morning, my headache feeling even worse than the day before. Rolling over, I picked up my phone and that's when I remembered that I'd fallen asleep at the tower the night previous. How had I gotten home?

Looking at my phone for answers, I saw that it was Saturday morning. Fuck. No wonder I was exhausted and had a headache. Being at work until one, super vivid and realistic dreams, both things were definitely enough to push my exhaustion into the territory of pain. At least that explained why I thought Bucky had put me to sleep the night previous. He tended to have a starring role in my dreams, especially the sexual ones. Rubbing my eyes, I tried to stop the pounding behind them but nothing seemed to help.

Since I was supposed to be at the tower soon, I climbed out of bed and went into the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. Natasha might be okay with me skipping a Saturday hangout, but that was usually with advance notice. It wasn't that she would be upset per se, it was more that she would be disappointed. The last thing I ever wanted to do was to hurt that beautiful woman who went through so much pain in her life. So I pulled on my leggings and a sweater, just like I'd been wearing in my dream, and headed out the door so I could get myself some coffee.

As I stood in line to get the coffee, I looked around the Roadhouse. This had become one of my favorite places to go, especially if I wanted a decent cup of coffee. it's not like there weren't plenty of coffee places in New York City that were good, but the stuff here just seemed to have a certain… _je ne sais quoi_ that kept me coming back.

The guy from my dreams was behind the counter, a grin on his face. Fluffy blonde hair, short, piercing blue eyes, and a grin that just made my headache worse. He was way too chipper for Saturday morning, making me long for the young girl who usually worked there. When it was finally my turn, he said in this chipper happy voice, “Good morning! Welcome to the Roadhouse. What can I do you for?”

“Coffee,” I muttered, angry that my dream was making me hate my favorite coffee place. Gabe was way too personable with me. Abby, the young girl who usually worked weekends, knew my order so I didn’t even have to speak when I came in.

“Coming right up,” he chirped, flouncing off to the coffee maker. God, my sense of deja vu was hitting me like a ton of bricks. This all seemed so familiar, but I knew it had to be because I do the same thing nearly every day. I watched Gabe as he walked over to the machine, pouring me a cup of coffee with two sugars.

While I looked at him, I noticed tattoos trailing down the back half of each arm that looked like feathers. This was definitely something I had never noticed before. After knowing Bucky for several years, I tended to notice things like tattoos and the like. When I'd first met him, his arm was something I’d tried to avoid staring at knowing he was probably self-conscious about it. But after a few months of me looking everywhere but at it, he’d sat me down and had ‘the talk.’ The one where he explained everything that happened, how he understood it worked, and let me touch it. Of course, once I’d seen the massive Howling Commandos tribute tattoo he had on his right bicep, I’d become even more enamored with him. Finding out that he’d gotten it to cover up something HYDRA had given him - he wouldn’t tell me what - made me sad. So many of the team had such shitty lives prior to moving in together, but at least they were happy now that they all lived and worked together. They were basically family.

Gabe came back and handed me the drink. “Here you go.”

Glancing down at my cup, I asked, “How did you know how many sugars I take?” I was curious to see if his reaction would be similar to my dream or not.

“It’s not that difficult, dear heart.” He looked me up and down, nodding appreciatively. “You should get going. Your friends are waiting for you.”

Leaving the café, I let out a sigh of relief that it was different. Even though my memories of the dream weren’t too strong, and a lot was very similar, it wasn’t exactly the same. Otherwise, I would have been concerned that maybe I’d come into contact with something I shouldn’t while hanging out with the team. Wanda had gotten her powers from the mind stone, if I was turned into a superhero… fuck, I didn’t know what I’d do.

Heading into the tower with my bag of donuts, I waved at the guard and headed upstairs. Getting off the elevator, I saw Steve and Sam, both sweaty and laughing, so I headed toward them. When Steve’s eyes darted behind me, I stopped and a body pressed against my back, arms outstretched trying to grab the bag. When I saw the gleam of metal, I knew exactly who it was. Looking over my shoulder at Bucky, my heart skipped a beat when I saw how close his face was to me. “You’re sweaty,” I accused.

“What?!” he exclaimed, stepping away and looking down at the sweat droplets rolling down his naked torso. My eyes roved up and down his body, enjoying the way his abs contracted as he moved from side to side. When his gaze lifted and met mine, he grinned. “Damn, I am sweaty.” He moved closer, arms held out toward me. “Come on, Bella, all I want is a hug.”

Glaring at him, I watched as he kept moving toward me, an exaggerated pout on his face. Sighing, I set down the coffee and donuts, pulling him into a quick partial hug, then shoved him away from me. God, I loved every time he touched me, came with the territory of liking one of your best friends, but I couldn’t let him know that. Bending to pick up the donuts, I groused, “Go take a shower, Bucky. These will keep until you’re clean.”

“What about us?” Sam whined.

Looking over at him, I raised my eyebrows. “No donuts till you boys are clean.”

He sidled over to me, bumping against my arm. “Come on, Iz. Just a little bite.”

Steve slid his arm around my shoulders, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “I know, kid, we stink. Don’t worry, I’ll take these lunkheads and get them cleaned up. Hide me a cruller.”

Once the boys were gone, I shoved the bag onto the counter, the ache behind my eyes transcending into throbbing pain. Going over to the couch, I sat down and laid an arm over my eyes. It wasn’t long before heavy footsteps came toward me and a body plopped down on the couch. When I lifted my arm and saw Bucky, the deja vu came back full force, the headache getting worse. Even in my dream, the pain hadn’t been this bad thankfully, but having him sit next to me - just like in the dream - was just too fucking weird.

“You okay?” he asked softly.

The only thing I could manage to get out was, “Headache.”

Lifting one leg onto the chaise part of the couch, he spread his legs and patted the cushion between them. “C’mere, Bella.”

“Why?”

“Just get your ass over here,” he said playfully. When I didn’t move, he added, “Come here, Bella. I’m just gonna help with your headache.”

Steve plopped down on the other side of me, looking between the two of us. “You should take him up on it. He doesn’t make this offer to just anyone.”

Knowing that they wouldn’t let up until I just gave in, I moved between his legs with my back to him, keeping far enough away I wouldn’t accidentally touch him. When his hands laid on my shoulders, I stiffened. “Calm down, doll. You’re tenser than my father was when my sister went on her first date.” When I didn’t relax, his mouth moved by my ear and whispered, “Trust me, doll. I’m just gonna give you the best back massage you’ve ever had. It will help the headache, I promise.”

As his fingers dug into my aching muscles, I couldn’t stop the small moans that came out of my mouth. It wasn’t sexual in the least, but my mind kept going to images of his fingers in places where no one had touched me in a while. The others joined, talking about the plans for the day, but my thoughts were only of Bucky… imagining him trailing those fingers up my legs, between my thighs, thrusting into me. I had to swallow a groan, not wanting anyone to know how he was getting to me.

His hands left the knots of my back, landing on my shoulders. “I think Nat and Wanda are ready for girls' day.”

Leaning back against him, I shut my eyes for a brief second before I looked up at him. “Thanks, Bucky.”

“All in a day's work, doll.” He smirked, then added seriously, “When you get back if your head still hurts let me know. I’ve got a couple of other tricks that used to work on my mom when she got her migraines.”

\----------

Natasha, Wanda, and I went to a nail salon, getting pedicures. We never got our fingers done, mainly because when you work with your hands as much as we do, it was a waste of money. I used to get them done, but the next day they would already be chipped. Definitely not worth it.

The only part of hanging out with my friends that I found irritating, was the fact they kept bugging me about Bucky. Apparently, I was horrible at hiding my feelings, because they knew. Asking me when I was finally going to tell him how I felt. Even hinting that he liked me. I had to laugh at that. There was no way that Bucky felt anything more for me than as a friend. They brought up the massage, saying that he’d never done anything like that for anyone else, but I still didn’t see it. Did I wish that he would feel something for me other than friendship? Yes. Did I think there was even a chance in hell that a man like that would want me? No.

Even though I couldn’t believe it, I did promise to think about telling him about my feelings. With a hard emphasis on ‘think.’ I couldn’t imagine telling him, no matter how much they tried to convince me he liked me too. Dream Bucky seemed to have a thing for me, but that actually made sense. My psyche wanted him to like me, wanted a chance with him… so the Bucky of my dreams would be perfect for me.

After we finished at the nail salon, the girls and I headed to Central Park to meet up with the rest of the team. Of course, my headache was even worse than before, so I was lying on the blanket with my arm over my head, trying to block the sunlight. The sun disappeared slightly and I moved my arm, seeing Bucky sitting next to me. He had a concerned look on his face and asked, “Headache back?”

“That obvious?”

“I don’t think anyone else noticed. My mother had migraines so I recognize the symptoms.” Scooting above my head, he crossed his legs and slid his hands under my shoulders, lifting me up until my head rested on his calves. Taking my hair out of the bun, he dug his finger into the back of my scalp, thumbs rubbing near my temples. “Just relax, doll. This should help.”

While he massaged my head, the sense that this had happened to be before was growing exponentially. There was this niggling at the back of my mind, saying that I’d been in this position before, but I knew that was impossible. The thoughts raced through my brain, confusing me further. Trying not to dwell on them, I opened my eyes and asked the question I’d been wondering since that morning, the same one he hadn’t been able to answer in my dream. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

“What do you mean?” He tried to keep his voice calm, but I could hear the apprehension in his tone.

As his hands moved down to my shoulder, I said, “You’re always nice, but you’re being extra… Nevermind, it’s not important.”

“Bella…” His voice grew husky and he leaned down until his face was over mine. “I…”

When Steve interrupted to tell us that we were going to watch Star Trek, I was happy. It’s not that I didn’t want him to complete that sentence, I just honestly wasn’t sure what he was going to say. Then Sam came up and bugged us, which gave me an opportunity to sit up and put some space between us.

\----------

Back at the tower, while we were watching the movie my headache came back. Bucky realized it right away, going to get me a blanket and pulling me so I was snuggling against him. I noticed Natasha give me a look, but I ignored it. All I wanted was to go to sleep and wake up tomorrow. Being tucked under Bucky’s arm made me feel safe and cared for, even if it just increased my confusion on our relationship. His hand moved up and down my arm rhythmically, holding me close.

I woke slightly as he carried me into a spare bedroom and laid me down, tucking the comforter over me. When he pressed a kiss to my head, saying, “Goodnight sweetheart,” my eyes popped open. He was inches away from me and looked surprised that I’d woken up. 

“Bucky?”

“Sorry, I thought you were sleeping.”

He stood and turned to leave, but I reached out and grabbed his hand. “You called me sweetheart,” I murmured, my voice husky with sleep.

“I…” Groaning, he swiped a hand over his face. “We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

Shaking my head, I stated, “No.” Pushing myself up to a seated position, I pulled him toward the bed until he sat down. If he hadn’t wanted to move, I wouldn’t have been able to make him, he was just too strong for me. Taking my free hand, I pressed it against his cheek and turned his face toward mine. “What’s going on? You’ve been so… different with me all day, then you kiss me and call me sweetheart. I’m so confused.”

Pulling his hand away, he stood and shoved his hands into his pockets, his shoulders tight. “I…”

When his voice trailed off, I sighed. “It’s fine, Bucky. We can talk tomorrow.”

“Fuck.” Closing his eyes for a second, he took a deep breath. “I like you, Bella. God, being around you sometimes, I…” He looked at me and I could tell how nervous he was, so I kept quiet. “I know I’m not good enough for you. You deserve someone so much better than me, but I can’t help how I feel.”

“Bucky, you…”

Turning, he started walking to the door of the bedroom. “Go to sleep, Bella. It will help with your headache. We can continue this conversation tomorrow if you want, but I know that you don’t feel the same. Goodnight.”

Before I could argue with him, he left the room and the door shut. Laying back down on the bed, I stared at the ceiling for several minutes, trying to figure everything out. I wanted to get up and search him down, tell him that I liked him too, but I knew he needed time to process what he told me. Tomorrow, I was going to force him to talk to me, figure out what was going on in his head.


	3. Repeat Repeat

Day Three

_ 'Cause it's the heat of the moment _ _  
_ _ Heat of the moment, the heat of the moment _ _  
_ _ Shone in your eyes _

What… the… fuck? Rolling over, I slapped my alarm clock, turning off the blaring sound of Asia coming from the speaker. Two days in a row, it played the same song? Not to mention in my dream two nights ago. Then I realized I was back in my apartment, even though I’d fallen asleep at the Tower. Did Bucky bring me home so we wouldn’t have to talk?

Picking up my phone, I looked at it and my mouth fell open when I saw it was Saturday. Again. The first time, I was pretty sure was a dream, but yesterday was definitely real. Wasn’t it? At least the headache was consistent, both in my dream and the day that I wasn’t sure was real. Unless I was having dreams within dreams. Pinching my arm as hard as I could, I winced when it hurt. The area on my arm turned red, half-moon indents in the flesh where my fingernails had dug in. Well, shit. I was definitely awake.

Sighing, I climbed out of bed and got ready, putting on leggings and the same oversize sweater I’d been wearing in my dream and maybe another dream. I was so confused by this, but I couldn’t stay home, Natasha would be upset. And like any other day, I didn’t want to do that. Not because I feared making her mad, but simply because she was my best friend and I knew the shit she’d had to deal with throughout her life. The things the KGB had done to her… it had taken me getting her drunk to hear the story, and I’m pretty sure she still managed to keep things from me. None of the others would tell me anything about their horrible experiences. The only one who came close was Bucky, and he only told me about his arm because he was tired of me avoiding the subject.

At the cafe, I saw Gabe standing behind the counter and I let out a huge sigh. I’m reasonably certain I’d never seen him before here - at least not prior to the last two… days? - but somehow, he was in my dream? The confusion just served to make my headache worse, so by the time I got to the front of the line, I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry.

Gabe said, in the same chipper voice from my subconscious, “Good morning! Welcome to the Roadhouse! What can I do you for?”

It was exactly the same. My eyes widened, but I just croaked, “Coffee.”

“Coming right up.” He walked away and I looked to see if the tattoos were there. They were. Now I know something was going on because tattoos were something I would remember. While they were something a lot of people had, I generally tended to remember the most interesting ones. He walked back over, handing me the coffee. When I didn’t say anything, his eyebrows rose, almost as if he were waiting for me to ask him something. But I couldn’t just say the same thing for the third time, even if this was the real day and the others were dreams. Giving him some money, I just left, not wanting to know if he’d tell me that my friends were waiting. I bought three dozen doughnuts and went to the tower. Waving at the guard, I went up the elevator, getting off on the fifty-third floor. As expected, Sam and Steve were laughing, looking like they’d just gotten done working out.

Hearing a slight sound behind me, I turned and raised an eyebrow, stopping Bucky in his tracks. Sighing, I set the donuts and coffee down, walked over to him, and pulled him into a big hug, not caring that he was sweaty. We stood like that for a minute, with him rubbing my back while I held onto him tightly. He murmured against my hair, “What’s going on, Bella?”

Pulling back, I picked up the stuff and shrugged. “I knew you’d want a hug. Seemed easier than arguing.” Heading toward the kitchen, out of the corner of my eye I saw all three men watching me with wide eyes. “Go take a shower, guys. The donuts will keep until you are clean.” Looking at Steve, I rolled my eyes. “And yes, Cap, I’ll save you a cruller. The donut that no one likes. Besides, there are at least four of them in here for you and your insane metabolism.”

He mumbled something I didn’t catch, but the guys left and I put the donuts down on the counter before heading over to the couch. My head was killing me, almost more from confusion than exhaustion. Instead of putting my arm over my face, I stared out the window, hoping the light would provide some clarity. However, it was too bright, so I leaned back and closed my eyes, trying not to cry.

A body plopped down on the couch next to me and I knew exactly who it was. “Hey, Bucky,” I murmured, keeping my eyes shut.

“How did you…” I just waved a hand in his direction, then lifted it to my eyes and rubbed them. “You doing okay?”

Sighing, I lifted my hand and cracked open my eyes to look at him. Seeing the concerned look on his face, I admitted, “I have a headache.”

Spreading his legs, like the two previous times, he patted the space between them. “C’mere, Bella.” 

Not bothering to argue, I did, sitting close enough to him that my body started to thrum with the beginnings of arousal. Assuming that at least one of the previous days was real, Bucky liked me… or at the very least, was attracted to me. When his fingers dug into my shoulders, I stiffened slightly and he murmured into my ear, “Relax, Bella, I’m just going to help get rid of the headache.”

I wanted to tell him why I stiffened, that I liked him and having him this close was hard… but instead I just nodded and relaxed back, letting him massage away the tension in my shoulders and neck. The others joined, but he kept rubbing, lasting longer than he had the previous two times. I heard Natasha say something and he sighed, leaning forward until his chest pressed against my back and his mouth pressed against my ear. “I think Nat and Wanda are ready for girls' day.”

Sighing, I let myself enjoy his strength for another minute, my eyes closed. When he gave me a little push I stood and looked down at him gratefully. “Thanks, Bucky.”

\----------

At the nail salon, while we were getting our toes done, Wanda turned to me. “So, Izzy, when are you going to tell Bucky…”

“That I like him?” I finished.

“How…”

Sighing, I leaned back and closed my eyes. If things were going to happen the same as before, Natasha was going to say, “You should tell him that you like him, hon, life’s too short not to be honest with yourself.” And there it was, exactly as predicted.

“What if it doesn’t go well?” I muttered. Even though I knew he liked me, and I knew I liked him, thinking about telling him the truth was daunting. It would change everything between us, and if it went bad...

“You should tell him,” Wanda said seriously. “Nat’s right, life’s too short to keep your emotions hidden away. Besides, I’m pretty sure you won’t strike out if you tell him.”

“But what if he doesn’t…”

“Hon, he hasn’t ever given me or Wanda a massage like that,” Natasha said. When I looked over at her and raised an eyebrow, she chuckled.

“I had a headache,” I replied petulantly.

“I’ve had headaches before. Do you know what he suggested?”

Before she could answer, I did for her. “That you get pain pills, or find Steve for sex?” When her eyes widened, I turned to Wanda. “And he tells you to find Vision.” Sighing, I scrubbed a hand over my face. “Don’t bother daring me, I’ll tell him later tonight.”

“You will?!” Natasha exclaimed. “I really thought that you would fight me more.”

I couldn’t tell her I already had, twice. “Maybe I’m just tired of hiding it. If I lose him as a friend because he doesn’t feel the same, then I lose him, but I can’t let fear dictate my life anymore.”

\----------

At the park, it happened precisely as it did before. My headache came back, Bucky pulled me onto his lap and rubbed my scalp and neck. The difference this time was that I knew more than I did before, or at least, I thought I did. I kept my eyes closed, simply enjoying the feeling of him touching me.

During the movie, the headache returned and he got a blanket, pulling me against him. The warmth and strength in his body calmed me considerably, and even though he offered to give me another massage, all I wanted was to stay in his arms forever. I did my best to stay awake, wanting the moment to last. But I came to wakefulness as he carried me to the spare room, lying me down on the bed.

As before, he pressed a kiss to my forehead, saying softly, “Goodnight, sweetheart.”

Before he could walk away, I opened my eyes. “Bucky?”

“Sorry, I thought you were asleep,” he muttered.

Pushing myself up, I patted the bed next to me. “Come here.”

“I should let you get some sleep.”

Reaching out, I grabbed his hand and pulled him forward. “Sit, Bucky.” He did but didn’t look at me. “You called me sweetheart.”

“I…” He stood, facing the door. “We can talk tomorrow.”

“Dammit, Bucky,” I muttered with enough vehemence that he turned back to me, mouth open. “Stop beating around the bush, just tell me.”

Chuckling, he shook his head and took a seat on the edge of the bed again. “You really are something, Bella, you know that?” Lifting his flesh hand, he cupped my cheek, then trailed his fingers to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear. “I like you.”

“I…”

“You deserve better than me. Someone not broken. Someone that can be everything you deserve.”

The sadness in his voice broke my heart. Reaching up with both my hands, I cupped his face and forced him to look into my eyes. “James, you are not broken.” He opened his mouth and I added quickly, “Don’t you dare argue with me. You are a wonderful man, Bucky, more than good enough for me.”

“No. I’m not.”

Tired of arguing, I pulled his face to mine and kissed him. He resisted for a moment, but when he groaned and wrapped his arms around me, kissed me more fully, my heart started pounding. His tongue danced against mine and I wanted to fall back onto the bed and pull him on top of me, turn the kiss into something more. 

When he pulled back, breathless, a small smile crossed over his face. “You really do deserve better than me.” This time, when I opened my mouth to argue, he laid a finger on my lips. “Hush, Isabella.”

Grasping his hand, I pulled it away from my face, but not before pressing a kiss to the palm. “I like you, Bucky. And before you try to say it again, you are plenty good enough for me.”

“It’s late,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to my forehead. Standing, he caressed my cheek and smiled. “We can talk about this tomorrow.”

Day Four

_ 'Cause it's the heat of the moment _ __  
_ Heat of the moment, the heat of the moment _ __  
Shone in your eyes

Not again. Picking up my alarm clock, I threw it across the room, shattering it against the wall. It couldn’t be Saturday again, it just couldn’t. But when I checked my phone, seeing that it was, I groaned loudly. What in the hell was going on? Once, I could say it was a dream. Twice, maybe I was having premonitions or someone cursed me with foreknowledge. But thrice? Something was going on and I had no idea what it was.

Dressing exactly the same, I went to the coffee shop and saw Gabe standing there with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. I got coffee again, not bothering to say anything else. My mind was racing as to what could be happening to me. 

In the tower, I set down the donuts as I walked in, turning around to give Bucky a tight hug that lasted way too long to be considered just between friends. He had been curious as to why, but I’d just shooed them off to get cleaned up, like every time preceding this one. When they came back, he’d given me another back rub, but this time I pushed myself back against him.

“What’re you doin’, Bella?” he muttered in my ear as he rubbed my shoulders.

“I don’t know what you mean.” I kept my voice as soft as his, even though I knew Steve would be able to hear. Seriously, their super-soldier hearing was ridiculous sometimes. “Just getting comfortable.”

“Bella…” Moving his hands from my shoulders, he trailed them down my shoulders to my biceps, then back up again slowly.

Leaning back, I closed my eyes and sighed happily. Being in his arms was something I thought I’d never get to experience. I probably should have let him keep massaging my back, let him help me dissipate the headache at least for a little bit, but a little pain was worth this feeling. Grabbing his hands, I pulled them around me, laying mine on top of his.

“Bella,” he murmured again, sounding confused. “What’s going on?”

What would happen if I did it early? If I told Bucky I liked him first thing in the morning? “I…”

“You look comfy.” My eyes popped open to see Natasha staring down at us with a knowing grin on her face. “Change your mind about coming to get your nails done?”

Moving his arms, Bucky pushed me off the couch but grabbed my hand so I turned to look at him. “She’ll be there in a sec.” After Natasha left, my eyes darted around, trying to look anywhere but at him. When I saw that we were the only two left in the room, I got nervous. He stood, still holding my hand. Lifting his metal arm, his fingers grazed the side of my face. “Bella, you need to leave, but I want to talk with you later, okay?”

“Bucky, I…”

Moving his finger to my lips, he stopped me before I could say anything else. “Later, Bella.”

\----------

At the nail salon, Natasha kept giving me sideways glances until I threw my hands up and sighed heavily. “What?”

“So, you and Bucky, huh?” The corner of her mouth curved up into a smirk. “And here I was going to tell you that you needed to tell him how you felt. Guess I’m a little late.”

“Nat, I…”

“Wait, you and Bucky are a thing now?” Wanda’s voice rose in surprise. “I definitely didn’t see that coming.”

“We’re not…”

“They were so cute,” Natasha gushed, sounding happier than she had in a long time. “They were sitting on the couch, he had his arms around her…”

“Guys, I’m…”

“Ooh, please tell me you got a picture.” Wanda giggled from the other side of me, leaning forward so she could see Natasha better. “I gotta see it to believe it.”

“Of course.” Laughing, she pulled out her phone and tried to hand it to the other woman, but I grabbed it out of her hand. “Izzy…”

Looking at the phone, I saw the picture of me and Bucky, both of us looking calm and content. It wasn’t what I had expected, seeing us like this, happy. A tear rolled down my cheek, but I didn’t wipe it away. The worst part about seeing us so happy was that I knew it wouldn’t last. If tomorrow repeated the same as the previous days, it would be Saturday again and I would have to deal with him not knowing I liked him. When Wanda reached for the device, I handed it to her and leaned back, closing my eyes.

“Oh my God, they’re so cute! Natasha, I need a copy of this.”

“Guys,” I interrupted loudly, “Bucky and I aren’t together.” When they made noises of protest, I shook my head. “It was just a massage, that’s it.”

“But…” Natasha started to say, stopping only when I glared at her.

“Nat, I love you, but we’re not together… yet.”

“Yet?”

“Yeah, what Natasha said… yet?” Wanda echoed, sounding more excited than curious.

Sighing, I rubbed at my eyes, cursing the fact that my headache had returned. “Look, I know you guys were planning on telling me that you could tell I like him and that he probably likes me too. I haven’t had a chance to tell him, but I promise, tonight I plan on letting him know. Whatever happens, I don’t want to keep it hidden anymore.”

“Izzy, I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud of you,” Natasha stated firmly. When I looked over at her, the stress lines that normally marred her face had disappeared, the only wrinkles those around her eyes from the huge smile.

\----------

At the park, it happened exactly like before, even with me asking Bucky why he was being so nice to me. My hope was that he would finish his statement if I asked earlier, but Steve just interrupted us, as he did each time. Our interactions were changed, more flirtatious, but being with the whole team didn’t really give us an opportunity to do more than send longing glances at one another.

Once we got back to the Tower, it was the exact same. Our friends were everywhere, never giving us a chance to speak. It was probably a good thing if I was being honest. As much as I wanted to tell him, I was still scared that his confession on the previous Saturdays had been a fluke. Maybe I wasn’t repeating the same day, just variations of the same day, so his feelings wouldn’t stay the same. If only I knew what the hell was going on, then I’d be able to figure out if this was all real. The worst thing I could imagine was that this was all happening in my head and I would wake up with it being Sunday and Bucky didn’t like me.

Falling asleep on Bucky during the movie, I stirred as he carried me to my room. This time, instead of leaving, he sat down on the edge of the bed and trailed his fingers down my face until I woke up completely. “Hey, sweetheart, how’s your head?”

Ignoring the lingering pain, I laid my hand over his, pressing it to my cheek. “You called me sweetheart.”

“Yes, I did,” he acknowledged.

“You said we were gonna talk later.”

I tried to push myself up, but he shook his head so I stayed down. “There wasn’t a chance before.” Shrugging, he moved his hand from my face to grab mine, rubbing his thumb along my palm. “I tried at the park, but Steve interrupted us.”

“Bucky…”

“Hush, sweetheart, give me a chance to get this out.” His eyes dropped to our hands as he took a deep breath. “I… I like you, Bella, have for a while, but I’m not…”

Pushing myself up to a seated position, I cupped his cheek and turned his face toward me, staring straight into his blue eyes. “James Buchanan Barnes, don’t you dare say you aren’t good enough for me. I’ve already…” Shaking my head, I didn’t tell him I’d already heard it all before, instead, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. “Bucky, I’ve liked you for… for a long time. I…”

To shut me up he pulled me against him, lips descending to mine for a passionate kiss. When he pulled back, we were both breathless, but instead of a smile, he was frowning. “God, Bella, I wish I could be good enough for you, but I’m not.” I opened my mouth to argue, but he laid his hand over my mouth. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

He stood and started walking to the door. My mouth fell open in shock, unable to believe that he was just walking away from me, from us. “Bucky, please…”

Hand on the doorknob, he hung his head. “Good night, Bella.”

When he left, I fell back on the bed, trying to fight the urge to cry. Bucky had been through so much in his life, none of which was his fault, but trying to get him to understand that his past didn’t define him was going to be hard. Closing my eyes, I forced myself to sleep, hoping that when Saturday repeated itself, maybe I could get some answers earlier in the day.


	4. Tired of Waiting

Day Five

Sitting in the pedicure chair, I leaned back and closed my eyes. The morning had happened exactly as the day prior, me leaning against Bucky, him telling me that we’d talk later, then Natasha interrupting us. All I wanted to do was force him to sit down with me, let me explain to him why I didn’t care about his past, all I cared about was him.

“So, you and Bucky, huh?” Natasha asked coyly.

Eyes opening, I narrowed them at her, then sighed as I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “No, because he’s being a stubborn ass,” I muttered angrily.

“Wait, what?” Wanda squeaked out, leaning forward in her seat. “You guys are together?”

“No, she said he’s being a stubborn ass,” Natasha corrected, chuckling lightly. Reaching over, she grabbed my hand. “What happened, Izzy? How can we help?”

Fuck, technically, Bucky and I didn’t have the conversation yet, although they wouldn’t know that. The question was if I should pretend we had. Sighing, I leaned back and closed my eyes. Maybe if I just came out with it, they could help. “Bucky doesn’t… he doesn’t…”

“He doesn’t what?” Wanda prodded, voice soft.

“He doesn’t think he’s good enough for me. Which is ridiculous, because if he isn’t good enough for me, then who is?” Pulling my feet out of the water to put them on the rest, I waved the woman away before she could start the leg massage. I just wasn’t in a mood to have a stranger touching me right then. “How do I convince him that he’s more than enough for me?”

“Oh, hon,” Wanda murmured, waving her technician off as well. Once Natasha did the same, she said, “Have you tried telling him that?”

“Yeah, and he just said he wished he could be good enough for me.” Looking over at the younger woman, I had to turn away when her eyes were full of pity. “I don’t know what to do. He’s always been someone I could turn to, but now…”

“Just don’t let him argue.” Natasha tugged on my hand until I looked over at her. “Use sex to convince him. It worked with Steve, it will work with Bucky.”

“I don’t want to force him to…”

“Izzy, trust me, if he doesn’t want to have sex with you, he won’t. Ever since… well, he’s made it a point to only do things if he wants. If he feels like someone is trying to force him into something he doesn’t like, he won’t do it.”

“But…”

“Natasha is right, Iz, come on strong. Get him out of his head. Maybe if you can get him to think with his little brain, he’ll be more receptive.” Wanda giggled. “Plus, if what I’ve seen is to be believed, a night in bed with him would be fun.”

My head whipped to the side, eyes widening. “Wha…”

“Everyone saw,” Natasha sighed, shaking her head when I looked over at her with the same stupefied expression. “They went to the beach behind the compound and because they didn’t plan on going in the water, they ended up stripping down to their underwear. Well, Tony thought it would be funny to steal Bucky’s clothes while he was swimming and the others thought it would make a funny joke so…”

“Let’s just say wet his boxer briefs did nothing to hide him,” Wanda finished, giggling even harder.

Shaking my head, I had to laugh with her. I could tell Natasha didn’t think it was that funny, and I would have been willing to bet Bucky didn’t either, but Wanda’s laughter was infectious. “I’ll try again tonight.”

\----------

Even though I tried to stay awake during the movie, I ended up being carried to bed, again. But even though I was half-asleep, I still managed to stir to complete wakefulness when he stroked my cheek. “Hey, sweetheart, how’s the head?”

I didn’t ask the same question this time, instead, I pushed up to a seated position and cupped his face with my hands. “James,” I murmured, using his first name in an attempt to get him to listen to me. “I like you.” He opened his mouth to say something, but I shook my head. “No, you need to listen to me. I like you, a lot. You are…”

“Sweetheart, I like you too.” He frowned and I knew what was coming, but before I could stop him, he added, “I’m not good enough for…”

Saying screw it, I slipped my fingers into his hair and dragged him closer to me, kissing him hard. Thrusting my tongue into his mouth, I put all my desire into the kiss, trying to show him that I wanted him. My hands moved down to his body and I tried to slip them under his shirt, but his hands captured mine and he pulled back, both of us gasping for breath. 

“What’s gotten into you, Bella?” He kept a grip on my hands, probably to make sure I didn’t try to touch him again. “Sweetheart…”

“If you’re going to reject me,” I muttered angrily, “you don’t get to call me sweetheart.”

“Sweet… Bella, I’m not rejecting you. I’m trying to explain that…”

“You don’t think you’re good enough for me, I know.” Yanking my hands out of his, I laid down on the bed and turned on my side, irritated that I’d listened to the girls. “Just go, Bucky.”

“Bella…” He pressed a hand to my back, but I just pulled further away. “I…”

Tears rolled down my face, but I forced myself to keep my voice even. “Go.” As the door closed, I let myself grieve for the man who had lost so much in his life but couldn’t allow himself to be happy.

Days Six & Seven

The same thing happened again and again. The girls gave me the advice to jump him, and I tried, but he kept pulling away. This time, when I yanked my hands out of his, I didn’t pull away. Instead, I pushed him. Even though he didn’t budge, it still made me feel better. “You stupid, stupid, stupid man. Do you think I care about what you’ve done in the past?” Shoving him again, angry tears rolled down my face. “You are more than good enough for me, and even if you aren’t, I don’t care. I don’t want someone else, I want you.”

“Bella,” he murmured, “I’m not…”

“Don’t you dare fucking say you’re not good enough for me.”

“I’m not,” he stated plainly. When I tried to shove him again, he grabbed my hands. “Sweetheart, I like you, but you deserve someone that doesn’t have a past that haunts them. You deserve someone who doesn’t wake from nightmares on a regular basis. I remember all of the people I hurt, every one of them.”

“Bucky…” My heart broke him. I knew that his memories had come flooding back during his time with Shuri, but even before that he had been retrieving them, some on purpose, some on accident. But Shuri had helped him recover all of his memories, which brought back all of the good ones from before the war, but with those came the ones HYDRA had tried to erase.

He stood quickly, turning his back to me. “Go to sleep, Bella. We can… we can talk in the morning.”

“You’re not going to change your mind, are you?” I whispered.

Bucky just shook his head and sighed. “Good night, sweetheart.”

Day Eight

_ 'Cause it's the heat of the moment _ __   
_ Heat of the moment, the heat of the moment _ _   
_ __ Shone in your eyes

Rolling over in bed, I sighed heavily, then cringed. My head hurt, again. Getting up, I went into the bathroom and grabbed the bottle of pain pills, tossed two in my mouth, then cupped my hands to get some water from the sink. The massages worked better than medicine, but I needed to talk to Bucky, and if the day kept repeating exactly as before that would never happen.

Back in the bedroom I picked up my cell phone and sent him a text message.  _ You gone to the gym yet? _

_ Just about to leave. What’s up? _

My fingers hovered over the digital keyboard, trembling as I tried to find the words to explain what I wanted. But this might be the only chance I had to get him alone, so I had to do it.  _ Can you hold off until after I get there? I want to… _ Swallowing hard, I paused my typing. If I told him exactly what I had planned he would wonder where the hell it was coming from.  _...talk. Nothing bad, I just need to talk to you before the day gets away from us. _ There, that would have to do. I watched the three little dots on my phone that said he was formulating a response, my heart beating a million miles a minute. What would I do if he said no? What would I do if he said we could talk later?

_ I’ll let Steve and Sam know I’m skipping the gym this morning. Meet in the living room? _

Nope, that wouldn’t do at all.  _ I’ll come by your room. Like I said, it’s nothing bad, I just would rather we have a few minutes alone. _

_ Okay, see you in a bit. _

\----------

Walking down the hallway, I was having a hard time keeping my hands from shaking. I was wearing the same outfit I had every day, leggings and a sweater, but I’d skipped getting coffee and donuts. My heart was pounding enough without the added caffeine, and if I had gone to get donuts it would have taken a significant amount longer before showing up. 

Knocking on his door, I took several deep breaths, trying to calm down. A deep voice called, “Come in,” and I pushed open the door, seeing Bucky pulling a shirt over his head. My mouth went dry, but I looked away long enough to shut and lock the door. When I turned back, he had a bemused expression on his face, the corner of his mouth quirked up into a small smile. “Hey, Bella.”

Kicking off my shoes, I started walking toward him, pulling the sweater over my head. Talking hadn’t worked, so I was taking the girls’ advice and seeing if sex would help him see clearly. “I want you, Bucky.” Tossing the sweater on the floor, I stopped so I could push the leggings off until I was standing there naked. Closing the gap, I laid my hand on his chest. “I know you want me too.”

His voice was hoarse as he asked, “Bella, sweetheart, where is this coming from?”

When he didn’t even glance down at my body, my heart dropped to my stomach. Maybe he didn’t want me and that was why I couldn’t get him to see that I didn’t care about his past. Turning away from him, I wrapped my arms around my stomach, murmuring, “Maybe I’m wrong.”

His hands rubbed my upper arms, trying to be soothing. “You’re not wrong, Bella, but isn’t this a little fast?”

At least he wasn’t saying he wasn’t good enough for me. Shrugging, I tried to keep my voice even, but it still broke as I responded, “I don’t know, maybe?”

“Besides, I’m not…”

Oh, fuck that. I’d heard it too many times in the past seven Saturdays, I wasn’t going to let him get away with it again. Turning, I shoved him as hard as I could. “Don’t you dare say that you’re not good enough for me.” Angry tears rolled down my face and I let them fall, my hands clenched in fists at my side. “Why do you keep…” Swallowing the words, I stated, “You have to make a choice, Bucky, because I can’t keep hiding this anymore. I’m not going to be able to go back to pretending we’re just friends.”

“Bella, what…”

Stepping closer, I laid my palm on his scruffy cheek. “Please don’t push me away.”

Closing his eyes, he took a breath and laid his metal hand over mine. When they opened again, he pulled my hand away and I almost started crying again, but he just reached up and trailed his fingers over my cheek, tucking hair behind my ear. “Maybe we should go on a date first, get to know one another better.”

My jaw dropped, but when he just smiled at me, I shook my head and chuckled. “Bucky, we’ve been friends for a few years. You’ve known me almost as long as I’ve known Nat. If you don’t want me I…”

“I do,” he argued, “but…”

“I’ve thought about this for… I don’t want to wait anymore.” Placing a hand on his chest, I dragged my fingertips down until they reached the waistband of his jeans. “But if you’d rather wait, we can…”

“Fuck it,” he groaned, yanking me forward until my body pressed against his and I could feel his burgeoning erection. But he still stopped and tilted my face up, face calm and serious. “Isabella, are you sure?”

“James, I’ve never been more sure of anything.” Lifting my hands, I wrapped them around his neck and pushed up on my toes until I was eye level with him. Pressing my lips against his, I moaned when he grabbed my ass and lifted me off the ground, carrying me into his bedroom.

Once inside, he set me down gently. “Sweetheart, are you…”

“If you ask me if I’m sure again, I might scream,” I joked, but when he frowned, I reached up and tried to soothe the lines on his face. “I like you, Bucky, so fucking much. If you could feel how…” Shaking my head, I stopped before making the conversation sexual. He deserved better than me tricking him into sleeping with me. Standing on my toes, I placed the gentlest of kisses on his lips. “You are a good man, Bucky. In the years I’ve known you, you haven’t hurt a soul outside of those who deserved it, you’ve definitely never hurt me. All you’ve ever done is show me the man you are, and that man is the one I like so much. If you’re not ready for this then…”

His head lowered and he captured my mouth with his, pulling me tight against him. This time, when I slipped my hands under his shirt he let me, and I dragged the cottony fabric up and over his torso, our lips separating only long enough for me to take it off. Then my hands went to his waist and I undid the button of his jeans. Dipping my fingers into it, I grasped both them and his underwear, breaking free of his kiss so I could push them down.

As I knelt on the floor, my mouth watered seeing his hard cock near my face. But before I could do what I wanted, I had to finish taking off his clothes. I untied each sneaker, then took them off, sliding his foot out of the jeans after. Then I trailed my fingers up his legs to his hips, staring into his eyes the entire time. With one hand, I gripped his cock so I could lick a stripe from base to tip, then took it into my mouth. 

As I bobbed my head up and down, he moaned, gripping my hair lightly with his flesh hand. Pulling me off of him, he held out his hand until I took it, then pulled me to standing. “Sweetheart, as much as I’d like to feel your mouth on me, I want to make this time about you. Next time you can…”

“Oh, definitely next time,” I purred, gripping his hand and backing up toward the bed.

Chuckling lightly, he picked me up and tossed me onto the soft mattress. “Scoot back, sweetheart.” I did as he asked and he climbed between my legs, settling down with his mouth near the apex of my thighs. “I’ve wondered what you would taste like. Why don’t I find out?” Then he licked my pussy with the flat of his tongue, swirling it around my clit before adding, “Delicious.”

When he started licking and sucking, tongue vibrating against me, I saw stars. Lord, he had a talented tongue. My fingers dug into his hair, holding him in place and when he chuckled, my insides clenched. “Bucky,” I moaned, writhing against him. “Please… more…” With his flesh hand, he inserted two fingers into me and crooked them to rub against my g-spot, doubling his attention to my clit. Back arching off the bed, I came screaming, “BUCKY!!”

His mouth detached from me and he moved up until his head was even with mine, just looking into my eyes as I came down from the orgasm. Grabbing his head I pulled him down for a hard kiss, moaning as I tasted myself on his lips. He pulled back slightly. “I wasn’t sure you…”

“I have no problem kissing you after you bring me that much pleasure,” I stated firmly. 

“Same,” he agreed, kissing me again.

Feeling his cock hard against my thigh, I realized that in the heat of the moment, we hadn’t discussed protection. “Bucky,” I reached between us and stroked his cock lightly, “I want to feel you inside of me. I…”

“Let me grab a…” he started to say as he leaned over to his nightstand.

With my other hand, I laid my palm on his cheek and pulled him back over me. “I’m clean, and on the pill. I want to feel you, all of you.” Placing his cock at my entrance, I let go and groaned as he pushed in. “Fuck me, Bucky. Please.”

“Are you sure?” he asked softly, stopping when he was about halfway in.

Wrapping my legs around his hips, I pulled him forward until he was fully seated and moaned loudly when I felt how much he filled me up. “Fuck me,” I begged, releasing my legs and spreading them wide. “Please… fuck me!”

His hips started moving, slowly at first, gradually building up speed. Each of his thrusts I met with my own, moaning as I started to climb quickly to another orgasm. My hands wrapped partially around his bicep, I held on as he fucked me hard. “Fuck,” he groaned, hips beginning to move erratically. “‘M close, sweetheart.”

Moving one of my hands, I put them between our bodies and rubbed at my clit. “Fuuucccckkk,” I moaned. “Want you to come with me.”

Bending down, he kissed me hard, then growled, “Come.”

My pussy clenched down hard on his cock as I came, unable to make a noise as my body jerked with the force of my orgasm. He thrust in one last time before spilling into me, my name falling from his lips on a groan. Pressing his face against my shoulder, he rested most of his weight on me, but still held himself off enough that he wouldn’t squish me, but I didn’t care. Having him on top of me comforted me in ways I didn’t even know I needed. 

Running my hands over his back, I sighed happily until he rolled off of me and onto his back. “Damn, Bella, that was…” Lifting his metal hand, he pressed it against my cheek and smiled happily. “What made you decide to do this today?”

I couldn’t tell him the truth, that I’d spent the past several days trying to get him to realize he was more than enough for me. Nor could I tell him that the girls had told me in the previous Saturday to use sex to get him to listen to reason. Fuck, remembering that made me feel guilty. “Bucky, do you feel like I…” I swallowed the words, pushed up to a seated position, and wrapped my arms around my knees. “I’m sorry,” I murmured.

He sat up as well, rubbing my back gently. “What are you sorry for?”

“I forced you to…”

“Sweetheart, you didn’t force me to do anything.” Scooting around on the bed, he placed a finger under my chin and tipped it up so I looked in his eyes. “Honestly, Bella, I’ve liked you basically since I first met you, I just always knew I wasn’t good enough for you.” He placed a finger on my lips before I could argue. “Hush, I already know you’ll just argue with me again about that, but I’m trying to explain why I never said anything sooner.”

“But still, I didn’t even give you a chance to…”

This time, he laid his entire hand over my mouth and let out an exaggerated sigh. “God, you are so stubborn. Do you really think you could have forced me to have sex with you if I didn’t want to? No matter how attracted I am to someone, I haven’t been ruled by my hormones since I was a teenager.” Removing his hand, he cupped my face with both palms and pressed a kiss to my lips. “I like you, Isabella, I’m just sorry it took this long for me to realize that. And while I still don’t think I’m good enough for you, I will do my damnedest to change that.”


	5. Secrets

Day Twenty 

_'Cause it's the heat of the moment_ _  
_ _Heat of the moment, the heat of the moment_ _  
_ _Shone in your eyes_

Picking up my alarm clock, I threw it at the wall as hard as I could, angry at whatever had caused this to happen. Yes, I’d spent the last twelve days having the best sex of my life, but he didn’t remember. Was it even worth it if I had to explain to him every single time that I liked him and he was worth it to me? That I didn’t care about his past, just him?

Sighing, I picked up my phone just to make sure, and yes, it was Saturday. Again. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t repeat the same thing over and over and over. That’s why weeks had weekends, to give you time off to enjoy life. Instead, the days just blended together until I wasn’t sure what was real and what wasn’t. 

So, instead of going to the Tower, I texted Natasha. _I’m not feeling well. Am probably contagious. Think I’m just gonna sit this weekend out if that’s okay._

It didn’t take more than two minutes before I had a response. _Do you want me to bring over some soup? Movies? Chocolate? Anything at all?_

The guilt hit me like a brick. She didn’t know I’d been repeating the same day multiple times, it wasn’t her fault that I just couldn’t stand to do it again. But even though normally the guilt would have won out, and I would have gone to visit anyway, I didn’t have the energy to deal with it today. _No, I’m good. But thanks. I love you, Nat._

_Love you too._

Setting the phone down, I pulled the blanket over my head and closed my eyes. Maybe if I went back to sleep, I could have one day to myself where I didn’t have to spend it participating in the loop.

Day Twenty-One 

_'Cause it's the heat of the moment_ _  
_ _Heat of the moment, the heat of the moment_ _  
_ _Shone in your eyes_

“FUCK!!” I yelled, smashing the alarm clock with my fist, breaking it in my fury. I felt a sharp pain and looked at my hand, barely registering the blood that trickled down my skin. Going back to sleep in the morning hadn’t worked, all it had done was made the day start over again that much faster.

So, I got out of bed and went into the bathroom to wrap my hand, then got dressed. Everything was hazy, almost surreal, as I went to the cafe to order coffee. Gabe looked a little concerned, but he did the same thing he had done for so many other Saturdays, got me a coffee with two sugars. Then I went and got the same three dozen donuts, continuing my trudge to the Tower.

Upstairs, I saw Steve and Sam laughing, so I turned and held out the bag of donuts to Bucky before he could wrap his arms around me. His brow furrowed in confusion, but he took it from me. God, I really could have used a hug from him right then, but after spending nearly two weeks worth of Saturdays getting to know his body intimately, I wasn’t sure I could handle touching him without wanting to kiss him. The comfort I would take from it wasn’t worth him realizing something was different with our friendship.

“Bella, what’s wrong?” he murmured, moving closer to me. “You seem… off.”

“I’m fine,” I bit out the lie. Sighing heavily, I shook my head. “I’m not fine.” Admitting that relieved some tension, but when he just kept staring at me expectantly, I groaned. “You won’t believe me.”

“Hold on.” Bucky took the coffee out of my hand and went into the kitchen, setting them both down. When he came back, he pulled me into his arms. The second mine wrapped around him, I took a deep shuddering breath and started crying. “Sweetheart,” he murmured, rubbing my back. “What’s wrong?”

“Hey, Buck, what’s going on?” Steve asked, the heavy tread indicating he was on his way over.

“I have no clue.”

My face was still pressed against his sweaty chest, but at least I wasn’t turned on. I guess having my whole world imploding stopped that much. But even when Steve’s hand brushed at my hair, I didn’t let go. All I wanted was the reassurance that Bucky was there for me, even if he didn’t know why.

“Bella, sweetheart…” Bucky’s flesh hand went to my face, tilting it up toward him, thumb wiping away the tears that fell. “Tell us what’s wrong.”

“You won’t believe me,” I repeated 

“Kid, you can tell us anything.” Steve moved to the side of Bucky so he could look at me too. “We’re your friends, tell us what’s going on.”

Sighing heavily, I stepped out of Bucky’s embrace, already missing his warm strong arms. How did I tell them? I know I wouldn’t believe it. Shutting my eyes, I rubbed them and muttered quickly, “I’m stuck in a time loop.”

“Wait, Iz, run that by me again?” Sam sounded so incredulous, I looked over at him and glared. Lifting both his hands, he took a step back. “Don’t give me that look, girl, you know it sounds crazy. Time loops don’t exist.”

Angry, I yelled, “You guys went back in fucking time, don’t tell me what is and isn’t possible!”

“I didn’t go back, I was dusted, remember?”

“FUCK!” Stomping off to the kitchen, I picked up my now cold coffee and took a long sip. Now, not only was my head killing me, but I was pissed off. A great way to start my twenty-first Saturday.

“Go get Tony,” Bucky suggested. “Maybe he can make sense of what’s going on.”

“Buck, that’s not…” Steve started to say, stopping when his friend muttered something under his breath. “Fine, I’ll get him.”

As Steve left the room, Bucky came over and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind me and I had to stop myself from leaning back against him. “Sweetheart, time travel is one thing, but a time loop?”

Yanking myself out of his grasp, I set the cup down and looked to the side. Sam was still there, but I honestly didn’t care if he saw. It wasn’t like they would remember this the next time it repeated. “What will it take for me to convince you that I’m telling the truth?” Stepping forward, I placed a hand on his chest right over his heart and lowered my voice. “I know that if I were to nibble right here,” I trailed my fingers up his torso to his neck, then stroked the skin right below his ear, “you would be putty in my hands.” I placed the other on his right bicep, dragging it down to his hand, then pulling it up toward my face so I could press a kiss to the palm. “I also know that while you like blow jobs, you much prefer getting me off any way you can. Mouth, fingers, cock…” Closing the distance, I pressed my body against his and stood on my toes, my mouth by his ear. “So far, the record is four orgasms.”

When I stepped back, Bucky’s jaw hung open, his eyes wide. A quick glance down and I saw he had the beginnings of a hardon, but he didn’t seem to care. “How…”

“Time loop,” I answered simply.

Steve came back with Tony, looking between the three of us. Sam just stood there with his arms crossed over his chest, trying not to laugh, while Bucky’s face was turning a pretty shade of pink. All I could do was shake my head. “Did I miss something?” he asked, eyebrows arching high on his forehead.

“No.” Looking at Tony, I stated, “I’m stuck in a time loop.”

“Impossible.” Tony looked down at his phone, then at Steve. “Really, Cap, you made me come out for this?”

Striding over to him, I ripped the phone from his hand and threw it as hard as I could. “Listen, asshole, I’ve repeated the same day twenty times, don’t tell me what is and isn’t impossible.”

“You broke my phone.” There was humor evident in his tone, but he still sounded incredulous. “Sorry, Isabella, but time loops aren’t…”

“Why?”

“Why, what?”

“Why aren’t time loops possible?” I shot back. “You guys went back in time to get the Infinity Stones to stop Thanos. Then, after everything was over, Steve went back in time to return them. How is being stuck in a time loop so much more implausible than time travel?”

“Isabella,” he condescended, taking the tone that he used when he thought someone was being exceptionally stupid, “time travel was possible because we had special suits and Pym particles which allowed us to travel through the quantum realm. So unless you’re trying to tell me that you stole one of the suits from the vault, somehow managed to acquire more particles, and are using the platform that we dismantled to time travel…”

“Why can’t you just believe me?” My voice came out soft and small, “I’m scared, Tony. I don’t know what’s going on.”

“You probably just had a bad dream.”

His dismissiveness was beginning to annoy me, even though I wouldn’t have believed me either. “How can I convince you?”

Sighing, he took off his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know.” Tony was quiet for a minute, then he looked up, a grimace on his face. “I’ll tell you something that none of these lunkheads know, as long as you promise to keep it to yourself. Then, when tomorrow comes, you can apologize and let me know you were wrong. But, if this really is a time loop, I won’t have told anyone so you’ll have knowledge no one else has.”

“And this thing you’re going to tell me… It’s enough to make you believe me?” I couldn’t help the disbelief. Since Thanos’s defeat, he’d kept mostly to himself, especially after Clint died on Vormir and Bruce sacrificed himself to save everyone. He blamed himself for everything, but at least Morgan helped keep him partially sane.

“Oh, trust me, not even Pep knows what I’m about to tell you. I made sure to destroy all evidence of it years ago.” Walking over, he bent down and whispered in my ear. As my eyes widened, he took a step back. “Yeah, and now you see why I don’t want everyone to know.”

I gave him a hug, something I didn’t normally do, holding on tight until he hugged me back. “I swear I won’t tell anyone, Tony. Your secret is safe with me.”

“Thanks, kid,” he murmured. Pulling back, he looked over at the others. “I think Terminator wants to talk with you.”

Turning that way, I could see the shocked expression hadn’t left his face. “Yeah, I probably have some explaining to do.” Glancing back at Tony, I smiled, already feeling calmer now that I knew there was a plan in place. “Well, I guess I’ll see you when the day repeats.” Moving over to Bucky, I grabbed his hand and started dragging him toward the hallway. “Come on, let’s take this somewhere more private.”

I pulled him away from the others who started talking as we left, down the stairs to his small apartment. The door was unlocked - they trusted one another, so they only locked the doors when they needed privacy - so I pushed it open and tugged him inside. Letting go, I went over to the couch and sat down, waiting for him to join me.

“Bella, I…” His voice trailed off, hands twisting together as he looked straight ahead.

Turning, I scooted closer to him, grabbing his flesh hand and holding it between my own. “Bucky, I’m sorry to spring that on you like that, but I like you. I have for a while now, and…”

“I like you too,” he murmured, still staring straight ahead.

Lifting a hand, I turned his face toward me. “I know.”

“How did you know…”

“Time loop,” I interrupted. When one of his eyebrows raised, I chuckled. “I know, you have no reason to believe me, but I swear, we’ve spent the last twelve Saturdays getting to know one another… intimately.”

“I don’t understand.” He pulled my hand away from his face, pulling it onto his lap. Instead of trying to explain more, I gave him a minute to process, watching his face as he looked down at our hands. “I’m not good enough for…”

“No,” I interrupted sharply. When his gaze shot up, I softened my tone. “James, you are one of the best men I know. All of the shit you’ve been through in your life, and yet you haven’t let it turn you bitter.” He tried to look away, but I lifted my other hand and turned his face back to me. “You may not believe me, but do you really think I would even consider being with a man who wasn’t good enough for me? Do you really think that Nat would be pushing for me to tell you how I feel if she didn’t think you were good enough for me?”

“Natasha?” he murmured.

“Yes. She loves you, Bucky, just as all of your friends do.” Leaning forward I pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “I like you, and I know you like me. Today is going to start over, and I’ll have to go through this rigmarole all over again, but I still need you to know how much you mean to me.”

There was a knock at the door and Natasha said, “I know you’re in there, Izzy.”

Bucky looked at me and laughed. “Go. She’ll never let us hear the end of it if you ignore her.”

Pulling his face to mine, I pressed my lips against his, sighing as he deepened the kiss. When she banged on the door, I pulled back. “I really like you, Bucky.”

“I really like you too, sweetheart.” He smiled, reaching up to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear. “Now, go. Spend time with your friend. We can talk later tonight.”

Standing, I went over to the door and opened it, laughing at the irritated expression on my friend's face. “Come on, Nat, I’ll explain everything to you and Wanda while we get our pedicures.”

Day Twenty-Two 

_'Cause it's the heat of the moment_   
_Heat of the moment, the heat of the moment_ _  
_ Shone in your eyes

Turning off Asia, I stared at the ceiling. I knew it would be Saturday again, but living through this was becoming wearisome. At least I had a way to get Tony to believe me, even if I didn’t want to use it. The information he told me was too personal, something that no one should know, especially not me. He’d told me only because I’d forced him into a position where if he didn’t give me something deeply personal, there was no way for him to believe me about the time loop. It was still giving me anxiety about using it, no matter if he gave me permission or not.

But there wasn’t time to debate the merits of using Tony’s deeply personal information with myself, so I got out of bed to get ready to face the day. Putting on the same outfit I wore every day, I left the apartment to get coffee and donuts. If I’d texted Bucky, I would want to spend time with him first, and I needed caffeine if I was going to explain everything about the time loop to Tony. He wouldn’t listen last time because it sounded crazy, but he would have no choice now.

I managed to get to the Tower as Steve and Sam were walking into the living room, sweaty and laughing. Heading into the kitchen, I placed the donuts and coffee down, then turned and smiled when I saw Bucky. God, with or without clothes he was the most gorgeous man I’d ever known. Walking toward him, my smile grew as he looked me up and down. When I was within touching distance, I stopped. “Hey, Bucky.”

“Hey, Bella.” The corner of his mouth turned up in a small grin. “How’re you doing?”

Closing the distance, I wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my cheek against his sweat-covered muscular chest. “Better now,” I murmured.

His hand rubbed my back as I held on, not wanting to release him. “What’s going on? You’re not normally…”

As his voice trailed off, I hugged a little tighter, tilting my face up until I could look in his eyes. I wanted to tell him everything, to stand on my toes and kiss the hell out of him, not caring about the guys seeing… but I needed to talk to Tony. Letting go, I took a step back and turned to look over at Steve whose eyes were wide as they stared at us. “Can you go get Tony? I know he’s probably busy, but I need him.” Shaking my head, I changed my mind. “You know what, nevermind. I’ll go to his lab.” Turning back to Bucky, I reached up and grabbed his head, pulling it down to mine for a quick hard kiss.

Pulling me against his body, he kissed me, not pulling back until we were both breathless. “Bella, what…”

“Later,” I promised, going over to the counter to grab my coffee. I didn’t even bother to see if the boys looked shocked as I walked away, saying, “There’s crullers in the box for you, Cap. Enjoy.”

I heard him mutter something as I left the room but just kept walking instead of looking back to see the stupefied expressions on their faces. It was easy for me to imagine how they looked because I knew them well, it came with being friends with the team for years. As I wandered down the hall toward Tony’s lab, I looked at each of the pictures hanging on the wall. They used to be large artworks, expensive pieces of modern art that no one liked. But over the years, Tony had slowly replaced them with pictures of the team, even Bucky. Most were candid shots, taken during events and during random missions. In each and every one of them, the person was smiling. I think walking down this hall every day gave Tony a sense of contentment, seeing his friends - the people he’d come to think of as family - happy.

Pushing open the door to his lab, I carefully shut it and walked in, patting Dum-E on the head as I moved past. Tony looked up, surprised. “Isabella, what are you doing in here?”

Sneaking a glance back at the door, I breathed out a sigh of relief when I saw no one had followed me. “I’m stuck in a time loop,” I stated, moving closer to him.

“Time loop?” He smirked, raising an eyebrow as he chuckled. “That’s not poss…”

Holding up a hand, I stopped him. “You told me something that you’ve never shared with anyone else. You told me it so I would believe you, saying that not even Pepper knew about it.”

“Pepper knows everything about me.” Then his eyes widened. “Except…”

When he didn’t say any more, I swallowed, not wanting to say it. Turning my gaze to the ground so I wouldn’t have to look in his eyes. “You told me this specifically so you would know I was in a time loop, otherwise I…”

“Just say it, Iz.”

“Howard wasn’t your biological father,” I muttered quickly. 

“How did you…” Tony’s voice broke and I looked up, seeing him staring at me in shock. “So, you’re stuck in a time loop.” He gestured for me to follow him, then took a seat on the couch pressed against the wall and patted the cushion next to him. When I sat down, he commanded, “Tell me everything.”

So I did. I told him how it started, the fact that I kept hearing the same song every day, even the fact that I spent nearly two weeks sleeping with Bucky. Of course, I didn’t give him any details, but he needed to know what I’d done. The one thing he made me do was explain the entire day to him, the way it first started, trying to figure out what had caused the loop. I didn’t tell him all the conversation details, mainly because I didn’t remember them. It had been over twenty days since the first iteration of Saturday, so relaying what I said to others word for word was impossible.

“Hmm,” he rubbed at his chin, leaning back against the couch. “I’m not sure I can fix this in one day. Hell, I’m not sure I could fix it in a week of me thinking about it. And when the loop resets again, I won’t remember anything.” He sighed heavily. “Maybe if you were versed in quantum physics, I could just have you memorize bits and pieces.”

“I can try,” I said softly. “I’m scared, Tony. As much fun as I was having with Bucky, I don’t want to repeat Saturday for the rest of my life. I need this to end.”

“I know, kid.” Rubbing his eyes, he stood. “Let me think about it for a few hours. I know Natasha and Wanda were looking forward to spending time with you today. We’ll talk later, try to figure this out.”

Joining him, I gave him a quick hug. “Thanks, Tony. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“For knowing your secret.” I shrugged, feeling guilty all over again. “Pepper doesn’t even know, and I’m going to have to tell you every day for the next who knows how long. I just…”

Tilting my face up, he smiled softly. “Kid, it’s okay. I know you won’t tell anyone, that’s why I told you, or why I’m assuming I told you. Besides, if I had told you any of my other secrets, you could have found them out some other way. That was the only thing no one knows except me.” He gave me another quick hug, then as he walked me toward the door, he explained, “I found a letter from my mother after they died explaining everything. While my father was out of the country working, she had a one-night stand and got pregnant. She blamed herself for why he was so distant with me.”

“You don’t seem too upset.” Hand on the doorknob, I cocked my head to the side, trying to figure him out. “I would have thought it would…”

Laying his hand over mine, he opened the door and pushed me through. “I was upset for a long time. Then when I found out Terminator killed them, I… Well, you know what happened.” Tony just shook his head. “I regret a lot of things I did back then, that’s just one of them, but taking my anger at my father out on Bucky wasn’t fair of me. To be honest, I’ve come to terms with it. He wasn’t my biological father, nor was he a particularly good dad, but I had my mother, and now I have,” he waved his hand at me and outward, “you guys. You’re my family.” I pulled him into a tight hug, not letting go until after he’d returned it and pressed a kiss to my hair. “Go. Spend time with the others. I’ll try to figure out a way to get you to memorize what I need you to so this will be easier the next time it repeats.”


	6. Impossible

Day Sixty-One 

After I managed to convince Tony I was living in a time loop, the days passed too quickly. The only thing that carried over from day to day was my memories, so I had to work at remembering the pieces. For the first several days, the only thing he did was spend time teaching me just enough quantum mechanics to be able to understand what he told me. It was difficult, but once I got the basic concepts down, it made it easier to parrot his ideas back to him.

Each new day brought different ideas, concepts that would normally be far beyond anything normally possible. A lot of it revolved around the quantum realm they used to travel through time. One of his theories was that they’d somehow created a rip in the fabric of time that I got caught in. Of course, that didn’t pan out, the device he built during one of the days not finding anything.

As we worked, I did my best to retain a sense of hope, but that diminished the longer we toiled on the problem. I spent the majority of my time with Tony, wanting... no, needing this repetition to end. If anyone could figure it out, it was him. While Scott and Bruce had managed to mostly figure out time travel, it was Tony who had figured out the last piece of the puzzle, the thing that allowed them to actually get the Infinity Stones to defeat Thanos. But the longer we spent, the more I began to realize that it was an impossible task. My anguish grew with each new Saturday, and even though I tried to hide it from Tony, he could tell I was upset. However, he didn’t get the full effect of my descent into depression, so he didn’t realize how bad it actually was becoming.

Sitting on Tony’s couch, I watched him furiously writing on the whiteboard, talking animatedly about the equation he was working on. I didn’t have the heart to tell him he’d come up with the same exact formula thirteen days prior, his enthusiasm was something I didn’t want to kill. Out of the two of us, he managed to be excited each Saturday, probably because he didn’t know the truth of how many times we’d tried to figure out. I made the mistake once of telling him truthfully how many days we had spent working together and he’d spiraled, getting completely drunk, making that a wasted day. After that, I kept it to myself, not wanting to upset him.

But seeing him circle back to the same ideas was killing me. Standing, I trudged over to him and took the marker out of his hand, slowly placing the cap on it. “Tony, this isn’t working,” I said softly. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“We can figure it out.” He ran his hand through his already poofy hair, letting out a yawn. “It’ll just take a few more days, that’s all.”

Stepping forward, I wrapped my arms around his waist, my cheek against his chest. We had already spent most of the day working, me telling him information from the last iteration, him asking questions trying to see if there was anything new. I couldn’t do it anymore. I just couldn’t. Taking a deep breath, I murmured, “We’ll start again tomorrow, I’m just tired.”

Gripping my biceps, he pushed back, looking at me concerned. “You okay, kid?”

Staring straight into his eyes, I lied, “I’m fine. It’s just been a long day, that’s all.” Stepping away, I turned and headed for the door. “Go spend time with Pepper, Tony. I’m sure she’d be happy seeing her husband.”

My feet carried me to the living room where everyone was watching Star Trek and I sighed heavily. I’d seen it so many times during the repeats of Saturday, I could quote it verbatim. Bucky’s head turned and he gestured for me to come over. I did, sitting next to him, closing my eyes, and leaning against him as he laid his arm over my shoulders.

“Bella, you and Tony get your work finished?” he murmured into my ear.

I’d told everyone I needed help with a work project, the only lie I could think of to stop them from bothering us while we tried to figure out how to stop Saturday from repeating. They couldn’t understand why a bookstore would need help from an engineer, but at least they’d left us alone. “Mostly,” I whispered back. Turning more fully against him, I slipped an arm behind his back, laying the other over his stomach, then interlacing my fingers on the other side of his torso. All I wanted was to snuggle with the guy I cared about, let him make everything better. 

“Sweetheart…”

Faking a yawn, I closed my eyes. “You’re comfy, Bucky.”

“Bella, I…”

Cracking open my eyes, I turned my face up toward his. “Later. Right now I just need you to hold me.”

He must have heard something in my voice, because he nodded and wrapped his own arms around me, rubbing my back as the movie played. “Later.”

Day Sixty-Two 

_'Cause it's the heat of the moment_  
_Heat of the moment, the heat of the moment_ _  
_ Shone in your eyes

Not even bothering to shut the alarm off, I stared at the ceiling, letting the increasing volume of the song make my headache worse. I didn’t care about anything. Not spending time with Bucky, not trying to figure out how to stop the loop, not even seeing Natasha. I just couldn’t do it again, live through the same day where nothing changed.

Sighing, I pushed out of bed and got dressed, unable to muster up any enthusiasm for what lay ahead. If I could have just stayed in bed, I would have, but I already knew that it would only mean the day started over more quickly. And I had no desire to lie again, so there was no reason not to go over to the Tower. At least then I could sit on the couch and stare out the window. Maybe using my headache as an excuse would get me out of being with my friends.

A quick stop to get coffee, where I forced a neutral smile to my face to hide my pain, then I went to get the donuts. At least there was one good thing about starting the day over, I wasn’t going broke buying donuts for the team. Weeks of buying pastries for boys who could out-eat anyone would have sucked otherwise.

Stepping off the elevator, I nodded at Steve and Sam as I went into the kitchen to set down the donuts and coffee. Putting both hands on the counter, I took several steadying breaths, trying not to cry. A hand pressed to my back, rubbing lightly. Bucky murmured, “You okay, Bella?”

Shaking my head, a tear rolled down my cheek. “Headache.” I couldn’t tell him the whole truth, but at least I could tell him that much.

Reaching up with his metal hand, he turned my face to the side so I looked in his eyes, frowning at me. “Sweetheart, what…”

Turning completely, I wrapped my arms around his torso, pressing my face against his chest. The tears fell more freely, not even his strong grip helping me calm down. As he rubbed my back and murmured against the top of my head, I attempted to stop crying, but once I started I just couldn’t stop. All the emotions that had been bubbling up inside of me for two months came to a head, drenching his already sweaty chest with my salty tears.

“Bella, I’m all gross,” he said gently.

“Don’t care,” I muttered, holding him tighter.

“I’ll get Tasha,” Steve said, his heavy tread obvious as he left the room.

“Don’t want Nat.”

Sighing, he tilted my face up to him, using his thumb to wipe the wetness from my cheeks. “Sweetheart, I need to take a shower.” When I just shook my head, he tried again. “I just need five minutes and I promise I’ll come back.”

Releasing my grip on him, I stepped back and took in a deep shuddering breath. Nodding, I went over to the couch and sat down, my arms over my stomach, trying to hold everything in. I could hear him walking over to me and a soft kiss was pressed to my head before he left the living room.

It wasn’t another minute before footsteps sounded on the hardwood flooring, heading my way. A body sank down onto the couch next to me, a small hand pressed to my shoulder. “Izzy, what’s wrong?” Natasha asked softly, her voice full of concern.

I kept to the same half-truth I told Bucky, “Headache.”

“That’s what Steve said, but…” She swallowed her words and picked up two items from the coffee table. Holding out her hand, she said, “I brought you some pills and your coffee from the kitchen.”

Taking them from her, I swallowed them down, then set the cup back on the coffee table. Wrapping my arms around myself again, I murmured, “Thank you.”

“Iz, what’s going on?” Natasha ran a hand down my hair, stopping to cup my cheek with her palm. “I’m worried. You’re never this upset, not since…”

As her voice trailed off, I knew what she was going to say. The last time I had been this upset was when my parents were killed before the helicarriers crashed. Bucky still felt bad, but at least I’d managed to convince him it wasn’t his fault. My parents and I had worked for SHIELD prior to that day. I was home sick or I would have been killed as well, but Sharon had told me how they’d stood up to the HYDRA infiltrators and been shot. I broke after that, leaving the organization that had been a part of my entire life, even though Fury had tried to convince me to stay. I still wasn't quite ready to go back, no matter how much good the team did in the world.

“I’m fine,” I muttered, not wanting to explain anything. Truthfully, all I wanted was to be back in Bucky’s arms, pretend that my world wasn’t imploding, that everything was normal.

“Isabella, I…”

Another body plopped down on the other side of me and I sagged in relief when I smelled Bucky’s clean scent. Turning toward him, I slipped an arm behind him, the other over his stomach, holding him tight while I snuggled as close as I could to him. As he rubbed my back, the tears finally ceased.

“Do you still want to go with Wanda and me to get our nails done?”

“No,” I mumbled against Bucky’s chest. Sighing, I turned slightly. “I’m sorry, Nat, I just…”

She laid her hand on my back. “It’s okay, hon. Take care of her, Bucky.”

“I will.” He just kept rubbing my back, not saying anything. After the girls left, he asked gently, “Do you want to talk about it?” When I shook my head, he added, “Sweetheart, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but it might help.”

I couldn’t bring myself to tell him about it, nor about my feelings for him. Too many days of the same thing over and over was enough to make a person question their sanity. “Can you just… hold me?”

“Of course, sweetheart, whatever you need.”

\----------

Hearing the elevator doors open, I stirred to full wakefulness but kept my eyes closed. The patter of footsteps neared the couch and Natasha asked in a hushed voice, “Has she moved at all?”

“No,” Bucky replied just as quietly. His hand ran down my back, probably trying to keep me in the state of half-sleep I’d been in all day. “Do you know what’s going on with her Nat? It’s more than just a headache.”

“She hasn’t said anything to me.” I heard her sit on the coffee table and sigh. “She usually tells me everything, but this…Yesterday she seemed excited to come over, I have no idea what’s going on. Did she say anything to you?”

“She hasn’t said anything since you guys left.”

“It’s been hours,” she exclaimed, loud enough that I couldn’t pretend to be asleep anymore.

Turning my head, I cracked open my eyes. “Hey, Nat.”

“Izzy, do you want to…”

“No,” I stated firmly. “I’m fine.”

“Hon, you are obviously not…”

Sighing, I pushed myself up off Bucky, already missing his warm embrace. I stood and looked down at my friend and the man I liked more than I had thought possible. “Nat, I’ll tell you everything tomorrow,” I lied, knowing that Sunday wouldn’t come. “I just…” My voice cracked and I rubbed my eyes. “I can’t right now.” Looking back at Bucky, I asked, “Will you walk me to one of the spare rooms?”

“Izzy, I…” Natasha started to say, standing up next to me.

Turning toward her, I pulled her into a quick hard hug. “I love you, Nat.”

“I love you too,” she whispered in my ear.

Pulling away, I walked toward the stairs, not bothering to see if Bucky followed. I knew that he would, that was just the type of guy he was, so I didn’t need to check. When I was inside the stairs, I had to stop, my hand resting on the railing. The emotions were bubbling to the surface again, my eyes burning as I tried to hold back the onslaught of tears.

Bucky’s hand pressed against my back and I turned, wrapping my arms around him again. He laid one hand on my back, the other on the back of my head. “Bella, sweetheart…”

“I can’t, Bucky,” I sobbed, holding on tighter.

“Let go for a sec, sweetheart,” he murmured, pulling my arms from around his waist and placing them by his neck. When he lifted me bridal style, I clasped my arms behind his neck, pressing my face against his shoulder.

It didn’t take us long to get to the spare apartment, him carrying me the entire time. Once in the bedroom, he laid me down on the bed, then took off my shoes. Holding out my hand, I sighed when he took it and pulled him closer. “Stay with me?” I murmured.

“Sweetheart, I…”

Taking a deep breath, I shook my head. “Please, Bucky. Just till I fall asleep.”

Kicking off his own shoes, he climbed onto the comforter next to me and laid down. Turning, I snuggled close, throwing one leg over his, putting my arm over his chest, my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “Goodnight, Bella.”


	7. The End

Day Eighty-Nine

_ 'Cause it's the heat of the moment _ _  
_ _ Heat of the moment, the heat of the moment _ _  
_ _ Shone in your eyes _

Staring at the ceiling, I sighed. Spending time with Bucky didn’t help, talking with Tony didn’t work, ignoring my friends just made them worried, and spending day after day in bed only succeeded in making me even more depressed. There had to be a way to end this, to end it all. I wasn't the only one stuck in this time loop, it was everyone. I just happened to be the only one who had any memory of the day repeating.

In the last eighty plus Saturdays, I’d had a lot of time to think, to try and figure out a way out of this. There was one thing Tony had vehemently refused to do when I suggested it, saying he would figure something else out. But in the end, he hadn't been able to. Maybe this time I could get him to see it was the only way. I just needed to impress upon him the necessity of taking me out of the equation.

Getting dressed, I went to get coffee and donuts, trying to keep a smile on my face. Gabe could tell something was wrong, but he just did the same thing he did every time, got me my coffee with two sugars. The walk to the Tower was long, my mind racing with each step I took. My heart didn’t want to make this choice, but I loved my friends too much to leave them in this loop for eternity.

Inside, I set my coffee and the donuts on the counter, ignoring the questioning looks from Steve and Sam. Turning to Bucky, I walked over and pulled him into a tight hug, swallowing hard to keep from crying. His hands rubbed my back and he murmured, “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Bucky,” I lied, trying to keep my voice even. Looking up, I saw the concern in his eyes, but I forced a smile to my face. Moving my hands, I trailed them up the outside of his arms and dug my fingers into his hair. “I wish you could see yourself the way I do. I wish you could see that you are more than enough for me, that you are the one I want.” My voice cracked and I had to close my eyes against the onslaught of tears that threatened to fall. Taking a deep breath, I opened them again and pulled his face down to mine, kissing him softly and thoroughly, putting all of my feelings for him into it.

His hands gripped my hips, pulling me closer as we kissed, moving to my back to hold me in place. Pulling back, he looked down at me, a soft smile on his face. “Bella, I…”

“Iz, what…” Steve started to say, stopping only when I looked at him and shook my head.

Pulling away from the man I was falling in love with, I turned my other friends, seeing the expressions that were equal parts confused and concerned. Moving over to Steve, I pulled him into a quick tight hug, then went to Sam and did the same. “I love you guys.”

“Iz,” Steve murmured, reaching out to me. When I stepped out of his grasp, he frowned. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Glancing back at Bucky, my heart clenched when I saw the despair in his eyes. Of course he could tell something was wrong, they all could, but I couldn’t tell them the truth. Moving back over to him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed up on my toes, kissing him one last time. Placing my mouth by his ear, I whispered, “Don’t let fear stop you from living, Bucky.”

Letting go, I walked away, not even bothering to pick up my half-empty coffee cup. As I left the room, I heard Bucky mutter my name, but I didn’t look back. The tears had already begun falling and I just let them, the liquid dampening my cheeks. Even though my heart was breaking, I knew it had to end and there was only one way I could see to do that.

Pushing open the door to Tony’s laboratory, I shut and locked it behind me, knowing that the boys would probably show up, worried. As I turned, Tony stood there with his eyebrows raised, a smirk gracing his lips. But when he saw the tears, he hurried over and pulled me into his arms, trying to comfort me as I began to sob, soaking his shirt with my pain. 

He murmured against my hair, nonsensical words, rubbing my back as I cried. It took several minutes before I calmed down enough that he asked, “Isabella, what’s going on? Talk to me, kid.”

Cautiously, I extracted myself from his embrace, rubbing angrily at my eyes. “I’m stuck in a time loop, and I’m the only one that remembers.” When he opened his mouth to say something, I added, “You told me something to make you believe me, and as much as I hate knowing it, I’ve already told you so many times.” Closing my eyes, I just came out with it, “Howard isn’t your biological father. Your mother had a one-night stand while he was on a business trip, it’s why he was always so distant with you.”

Taking a deep breath, he nodded. “Alright. Come sit down, tell me what I need to know so we can fix this.”

“YOU CAN’T!!” I yelled as my hands clenched into fists. When he took a step back, I lowered the volume, but my words were still angry. “I spent days memorizing whatever you told me, replaying it back to you with each repetition. We tried so many things, none of them worked.”

“Kid…”

“I know, Tony.” Swiping a hand over my face, I sighed. “Somehow this time loop is centered around me. I don’t know how, we could never figure it out, but I’m the only one that remembers anything from day to day.”

Reaching up, he wiped the remainder of the tears from my cheeks. “Okay, what can I do?”

This was it. The point where I told him about my plan. “Tony, out of everyone, you are the only one who will listen to me. You are the only one who will do what needs to be done to end this. No one else would have the…”

“Kid, I…”

“I know I’m asking a lot.” Swallowing hard, I explained, “I’ve lived this day eighty-nine times, Tony. If there was any other way… I don’t want to put this on you, it’s not fair of me to ask, but none of the others would even consider it. It’s the only way I can think to save everyone.”

Closing his eyes, he rubbed at the bridge of his nose, taking several deep breaths. “I need you to tell me exactly what it is you want me to do. I’ve got an idea, but…”

“I need to die.”

His eyes popped open. “Kid, do you understand what you’re asking of me?” he asked, voice strained.

“I do and I’m sorry.” Stepping forward, I wrapped my arms around his waist. “I don’t want this, Tony. I just realized I’m falling in love with Bucky and there’s a chance for me to have everything I ever wanted, but this day won’t end. The world needs you guys, it doesn’t need me. This is the only way I can think for it to end… for me to die.”

“Isabella,” he pushed me back, pain etched into the lines on his face, “are you sure we can’t try to figure something else out?”

“Eighty-nine days, Tony,” I reminded gently. “Nearly three months of Saturdays. Nearly ninety days of me waking up with a headache, having to tell Bucky that I like him and that he’s good enough for me. More days than I can count of us trying to figure out how to fix this.” Lifting a hand, I pressed it against his cheek. “I love you, Tony.”

“I love you too, kid.” Pulling me into a quick hug, he murmured against my hair, “If you’re sure…”

“I am.”

“Do you want to say goodbye to anyone first?”

Stepping out of his arms, I shook my head. “No, they’ll just try to stop me. Just… tell everyone I love them.”

Day Ninety

_ 'Cause it's the heat of the moment _ __  
_ Heat of the moment, the heat of the moment _ _  
_ __ Shone in your eyes

Turning off the alarm, I pulled the blanket over my head and started crying. If I couldn’t even end the time loop by taking myself out of the equation, then there was no way to fix it. I was going to spend forever repeating this Saturday, never making any progress with Bucky, hearing that same stupid Asia song over and over. The worst part was the headache that I woke with every single day. Maybe if the pain didn’t exist, I could suffer with having to redo the day again, but waking with what amounted to the beginnings of a migraine for ninety days made it completely miserable.

Climbing out of bed, I took my time getting dressed, moving slowly. Every inch of my body ached, the possibility of this day never ending finally having taken its toll on me. I didn’t want to do the day again, but there was no other choice. Trying to avert it did nothing, I may as well live it out the way it was meant to be lived.

When I walked into the cafe, I couldn’t even muster a smile. Gabe looked at me, frowning, sounding worried as he said, “Welcome to the Roadhouse. What can I get for you?”

Something inside of me snapped and I bit out, “I’ve woken with a headache for the last ninety days.” A tear rolled down my cheek. “All I want is to go to sleep and have it be tomorrow.”

Gabe turned to another worker. “Take over for five minutes.” Stepping out from behind the counter, he grabbed my arm and dragged me over to a table, forcing me to sit. Once he sat down in the chair next to mine, he inquired, “Did your ninety Saturdays teach you anything?”

My eyes widened, unable to believe that anyone else could remember what happened. “How do you know about that?”

Shaking his head, he replied, “Not important. Please, answer the question.”

Sighing, I leaned back in the chair and ran a hand over my face. “Well, I learned that I’m basically in love with one of my best friends if that’s what you mean?” When he just kept looking at me expectantly, I added, “I don’t know what it is you want me to say.”

Reaching over, he grabbed my hand and held it between his. “Isabella,” my eyes snapped to his, shocked he knew my name, “did you learn anything from repeating the same day over and over? Was there anything you got out of this?”

“You mean, other than the fact that I hate headaches,” I muttered angrily.

Sighing, Gabe released my hands and sat back in his chair. “I was trying to help, but if…”

“To not take things for granted,” I interrupted softly. “If I hadn’t done the same day over again, I probably never would have told Bucky how I felt. I never would have gotten the chance to see that my friends really do care for me, more than I ever thought they did. They’re my family.”

A smile crossed over his face, making him look years younger. “Go do whatever you want today. Tomorrow will come soon enough.”

“Can I get a coffee first?”

\----------

Stepping out of the elevator, I gave the first genuine smile in days when I saw Sam and Steve laughing. Hurrying into the kitchen, I set down my coffee and the donuts. “I got you four crullers, Cap, and there’s a couple of those chocolate cake ones you like Sam.” Turning, I saw Bucky standing there, shirt off like normal, a happy grin on his face. Moving over to him slowly, I said, “Hey, Bucky.”

“Hey, Bella.” He walked over, arms outstretched. “C’mere.”

“You’re sweaty,” I accused playfully, taking a step closer.

As he looked down, I continued moving toward him. “Damn, I am sweaty.” When his eyes met mine, the smile disappeared and he gulped, probably having noticed the lust in my gaze. “Bella… what?”

Closing the distance, I pulled him into a tight hug, breathing in his scent. Instantly, any stress I had was gone, his strong embrace calming me. Lifting my head, I stared up at him, not caring that the boys were still in the room. “Do you know what I see when I look at you?” He shook his head and I smiled. “I see a strong, caring man who gives so much of himself for everyone. I see a man who’s lived through worse things than anyone should ever have to deal with, and yet, he didn’t let it make him bitter. When I’m with you, I’m happy.” Trailing my fingers up his torso to his face, I cupped his jaw with my hands. “I want YOU, Bucky, bad dreams and all. No matter what you’ve done in the past, I don’t care. You are the best person I know, the only person that can make me smile just by being there.”

“Bella, I…” Laying his hands over mine, he pulled them away from his face and I almost started crying.

Pulling away, I took a step back. “I swear to God, if you try to tell me you’re not good enough for me I’ll scream.”

Raising an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth quirked up. “Are you going to let me finish?”

“Yeah, let him finish, Iz,” Sam piped up, causing me to glare at him. “Sorry, but this is better than daytime television.”

Steve turned Sam forcefully, pushing him toward the exit. “We’re gonna get cleaned up.”

“But…”

When they were gone, I looked back to the man I’d liked for so long, my heart pounding. His metal hand came up to my face, tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear. “You are so beautiful, Bella. God, I’ve liked you for years, but…” When I frowned, he chuckled. “I’m not going to say I’m not good enough for you, sweetheart, if that’s what you’re expecting. I’ll admit, there were times I wanted to tell you but didn’t for that exact reason.”

“I like you too,” I murmured, stepping forward until my body pressed against his again. Even though he was saying all the things I’d longed for him to say, I was terrified he would push me away. Lifting my hands, I threaded my fingers into his hair. “Please, Bucky, don’t…”

“Shh,” his finger pressed against my lips. “Let me finish.” When I nodded, he continued, “My first instinct is to try and convince you that you could do better, but I have a feeling you would argue with me.”

“Yes, I would,” I murmured around his finger. When he moved it, I pulled his head down and pressed a soft chaste kiss to his lips. “Do you really think I would even consider being with a man who wasn’t good enough for me? Do you really think that Natasha would ask me when I was going to tell you that I liked you if you weren’t good enough for me?”

“Really, Nat…”

“Not yet,” I muttered. Shaking my head, I kept going, “I know you have a hard time seeing yourself the way I do, but I’ve liked you for years, I just never let myself think about it before… before…” I couldn’t tell him about the time loop, not yet. He deserved to make this choice for himself. “Will you…”

Pressing his lips against mine, he stopped my rambling. “Yes, sweetheart.”

“Really?” A tear rolled down my cheek as I grinned. “No arguing?”

Hands moving to my hips, he nodded. “No arguing.”

I pulled his head back down and kissed him harder, tongue battling against his. Groaning, I wiggled my hips, a flood of pleasure hitting me when I felt him beginning to harden. “Bedroom,” I moaned into his mouth. “Please.”

Lifting his head from mine, he picked me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. Carrying me toward the stairs, he chuckled, “You don’t want to wait?”

He pressed against me, every step rubbing his now completely hard cock against my clit through my thin leggings. “Are you planning on fucking me and then saying no to dating me? Because if so, then…”

Stopping outside of his door, he set me down and tucked my hair behind one ear, and then the other. “Bella, sweetheart, baby girl…” He smiled, eyes softening as he stared down at me. “If I’ve somehow managed to trick you into thinking I’m good enough for you, do you really think I’m ever letting you go?”

“You didn’t trick me into…”

“Hush,” he admonished, reaching behind me to open his door. Backing me into his apartment, he turned to shut and lock the door. When he faced me again, he said softly, “Sweetheart, when I was young I believed in soulmates, but then I was drafted and… well, you know what happened. These last several years, I thought that I would be alone forever, trying to keep my feelings hidden away, not wanting to get involved with anyone knowing it could only end one way.”

“Bucky, I…”

“Let me finish, sweetheart.”

But I couldn’t. Picking up the edge of my sweater, I pulled it over my head as I kicked off my shoes. Then I slid my fingers into the leggings and pushed them down. As I stood, I stepped closer and laid my hands on his bare chest. “I care about you, more than I’ve ever cared about anyone. God, Bucky, I’m…” I gulped, but I needed to finish the sentence. “I’m falling for you.”

“Bella, how…”

“Later.” Reaching up, I pulled his head down and kissed him. This time when I pulled back, he didn’t say anything. “Now, are you going to fuck me, or do I have to beg?”

Laughing, he picked me up bridal style and carried me into the bedroom. “Your wish is my command.”

\----------

Resting my head on Bucky’s shoulder, I trailed my fingers through the hair on his chest, trying to figure out how to tell him the whole story. We’d spent the morning in bed together, then gone out with the others, listening to them playfully rib us for the entire day. Natasha had pulled me to the side, telling me she was happy for me, but that we were going to have a long conversation about what the hell was going on. She knew me too well, knowing full well that I never made decisions that quick, especially when it came to my heart. I was scared to go to sleep, to wake up and have it be Saturday all over again. 

Pressing a kiss to my head, Bucky murmured, “I can hear the wheels turning. What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”

“I…” Closing my eyes, I swallowed hard. “I’ve been living in a time loop. This is the ninetieth time I lived through Saturday.” Pausing, I waited for him to say something, but he stayed quiet. “I know you probably think it’s crazy, but…”

“Baby girl, it is crazy, but I know you… you wouldn’t make up something like that.” His metal hand laid over mine on his chest, intertwining our fingers together. “I’m sorry you had to go through that alone.”

Pushing up, I looked down at him. “I wasn’t alone, I had you… and everyone else, of course, but if it weren’t for you I don’t know how I would have survived it. I’ve gotten to know you, James, that’s why I’m falling for you.”

“Isabella,” he murmured, raising his hand to my face, “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I promise to do everything I can to be worthy of you.” Pulling me down, he wrapped his arms around me and yawned. “Now, go to sleep, we can talk in the morning.”

Closing my eyes, I tried to calm down enough to sleep, but I was still terrified. “I’m scared, Bucky.” My voice came out small and strained. “What if I wake up and it’s Saturday again?”

“It won’t change how I feel about you,” he murmured sleepily. “No matter how many times you have to tell me, I will always like you, Bella.”

Yawning, I tugged him closer and snuggled against his chest. “Me too, Bucky.”

Day Ninety-One

Stirring, I could tell I was alone and I wanted to cry. It wasn’t Saturday again, it couldn’t be. Asian hadn’t woken me up, but the fact that Bucky wasn’t in bed with me could only mean one thing. Tears trickled down my cheeks, but I didn’t open my eyes, not wanting to learn the truth.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” The bed dipped and my eyes popped open, seeing Bucky fully dressed, eyes full of concern. His hand caressed the side of my face. “I’m here.”

Sitting up, the blanket fell from my naked body and I wrapped my arms around him, breathing in his familiar scent. “Is it Sunday? Please tell me it’s Sunday.”

“Oh,” he murmured, rubbing his hands on my naked back as he realized why I was upset. “It’s Sunday, Bella, I swear to you. You never have to repeat Saturday again.”

Pulling back slightly, I wiped at the tears and took a shuddering breath. “Let’s go get some coffee.”

\----------

We walked into the cafe, hand in hand, the smile permanently etched onto my face. It took everything I had not to sing and dance, my joy at having it be Sunday was overwhelming. It was making me even happier than having Bucky to call mine. As we neared the front of the counter, I saw Gabe standing there, his hair even fluffier than normal, but the smile on his face said more than words could. “Welcome to the Roadhouse. What can I do you for?”

“This is Bucky,” I told him.

Gabe looked at one of the other baristas and took off his apron, laying it on the counter. “Well, my job here is done.” He walked around the counter. “Come, join me for a moment.” We followed him over to a table and sat down. Gabe looked between Bucky and me, a wide grin on his face. “I knew you two were meant for one another.”

“Gabe, how…” I started to ask, but he held up a hand to stop my question.

“Do you truly desire to know?” When I simply nodded, he sighed and held out his hand for me to shake. “Name’s Gabriel, angel of the Lord.”

“You’re an…”

“Angel? Yes.” Gabe sighed again, running a hand through his hair. “I came to this reality to escape Dean and Cassie, they’ve been so lovey-dovey lately it was driving me nuts.”

“Dean and Cassie?” I repeated, confused.

“Yeah, my brother finally got up the nerve to tell Dean how he felt, and well… they’re loud.” Chuckling, he turned to Bucky but kept addressing me. “I needed an escape and when you said you wanted the day to start over…” he shrugged “...I thought that maybe I could make a difference.”

Letting go of Bucky’s hand, I stood and walked around the chairs to Gabe, laying a hand on his shoulder. Bending down, I pressed a kiss to his head. “Well, I can’t say all ninety Saturdays were good, but thank you.” Holding out my hand toward my new boyfriend, I waited as he took it and stood. “If it weren’t for you…”

“You would have found your way to him eventually.” Waving his hand, he shooed us away. “Go, be happy.”

As we walked out of the cafe, Bucky mused, “That was an angel?”

“Apparently.” I stopped on the sidewalk and turned to face him, lifting my free hand to press against his scruffy cheek. “I can’t believe I get to call you mine.”

He leaned down and kissed me softly. “For as long as you’ll have me.”

“I’ll never not want you.” Mouth curling into a half-smile, I raised an eyebrow. “Now, how about we go home and spend the rest of the day in bed?”


End file.
